When you first meet a potential partner, texting back and forth is one way to find out if you’re a good fit. Of course, you’ll also want to hang out in person, but the way a guy texts can say a lot about his intentions. Is he flirtatious? Does he make jokes? Knowing the difference between friendly conversation and playful banter can sometimes be tricky. Luckily, we talked to college guys and girls to get the scoop on what it all means. Here are six kinds of texts guys send when they’re interested in you.
1. He asks you questions.
If a guy is interested in getting to know you better, he’ll want to engage you in conversation — even if it’s just over text. Mitchell, a recent Emerson College graduate, says that he’ll talk to a girl about her interests and what she does for fun. “I’ll ask random questions that get the conversation rolling,” he says. “I just try to get to know the person as I’m talking to them.” While he may not be thinking about dating you yet, if he asks you genuine questions over text, he’s definitely trying to get closer to you. The same goes for his responses.
“The fact that he actually cares enough to write meaningful responses back to you means a lot,” says Shereen, a sophomore at Florida Atlantic University. “Maybe you tell him about a book you read and he messages back about how interesting it sounds or recommends books back to you. The effort he puts into responding is quite telling, even though at first glance it might seem platonic. He definitely knows you’re someone worth pursuing and since that’s based on your intelligence and your interesting conversation, he’s most likely a keeper!” I agree with this 100 percent.
2. He brings up something you like.
If he’s always mentioning things that you like, he probably sees you as more than just a friend. Maybe he wants to watch your favorite TV show with you, or he suggests you two go on a hike together because that’s more your thing. Tyler, a senior at Emerson College, says that when he is interested in someone he’ll try to talk more about them than anything else. “I try to find out what kind of music, movies, and TV you like,” he says. “Get you talking about what you’re passionate about.” If a guy wants to talk about you more than him, that’s definitely a good sign.
“Other guys I text send one word answers or they wouldn’t type out the whole word but [this specific] guy was interested in what I had to say. He asked me questions and it was really nice to see him interested in me and actually listening,” says Irina, a junior at the University of Houston. “A particular text he sent was, ‘Oh sweet! What’s one of your favorite novels?’ It doesn’t sound like a lot but I’m a big reader and it meant a lot.” Even a seemingly small question like that shows that he’s listening!
3. He remembers an important event.
Another telling sign that he’s interested is that he pays attention to what you say and remembers things you tell him. If he brings up an important event that you mentioned earlier, he may be trying to connect. Maybe he’ll ask you how a job interview went, or he’ll tell you to wish your best friend a happy birthday from him.
“One text I got from a guy that let me know he was interested was when he texted me after I flew home for Thanksgiving and asked how my flight was,” says Haley, a sophomore at Miami University. “It showed that he cared that I landed safely and that he wanted to talk even though we weren’t at school together.” If a guy goes above and beyond over text, there’s a chance he’ll do the same in a relationship.
Related: 13 Texts All Guys Want to Receive
4. He tries to impress you.
When a guy likes a person, he’s going to want to impress them. Texts that allow him to show off a little could mean he wants to get your attention. Maybe he mentions that he’s been stepping it up at the gym, or that he just got his work published online. Whatever it is he’s bragging about, he’s probably doing it for you.
“One text I remember distinctly that made me realize that my current boyfriend was interested was a text that would really ‘wow’ a potential partner,” says Katia, a junior at the University of Kentucky. “Before we met up, he told me that he could take me to the top of the second tallest building in our city. I knew he was interested in something between us because he could potentially get in trouble for taking random people into his workplace. I don’t think someone would go to such lengths to impress someone for nothing!” We’re in agreement here. If he takes a risk for you, he clearly thinks you’re worth the possibility of getting in trouble.
5. He’s sweet.
When he shows that he cares about you and your well-being, that’s a sure sign that he’s into you. “I’ll wish [them] good morning and ask how [their] day is going,” says Tyler. “Basically, I try to be a good friend.” What starts off as being a good friend can definitely turn into something more!
“Guys may even text you about something they saw on your social media because a simple ‘like’ wasn’t enough,” says Courtney, a senior at Marist College. “Of course, the genuine ‘How’s your day going?’, ‘How’d that test go?’ or ‘How was your night?’ questions are a sure sign a guy is into you. No man is going to wonder about your day-to-day life unless he’s feeling it and maybe wants to be a part of it.” If you reciprocate these sweet texts, a guy will be sure to notice.
6. He’s straightforward.
Finally, if a guy is into you, he’ll say it! He might not blatantly write, “I like you” via iMessage. Over text, though, he might show it through emojis, fast replies or flirty messages. “I find that guys will be super quick to respond when they are interested,” says Ella, a third-year student at Western University. Of course, that’s not the only way to tell he wants to be more than friends.
“If he ends up being “bae” and we’re a lot more comfortable, I’ll get: ‘Come spend the night,’ ‘I wanna see you/I miss you,’ ‘You’re in the wrong bed,’” says Ashley, a recent graduate of Georgia State University. Sometimes guys actually do say what they mean!
Whether this guy is a new texting buddy or someone you’ve been talking to for a while, it can be difficult to know if he thinks of you as more than a friend. These six signs are all good indicators that he’s interested. And if all else fails, you can always just ask.