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Wellness > Sex + Relationships

4 Ways To Know If You Should Be More Than Friends With Benefits

Although we are often too ashamed to say it, most of us can probably admit that we enjoy the occasional hookup. There’s nothing wrong with having a little fun, especially if it could potentially lead to something more in the long run. However, sometimes it’s a little hard to discern what is meant to be a one-time thing and what could turn into a healthy, stable relationship. If you’re not sure whether your casual hookup has the potential to be the next #relationshipgoals, here are some signs that may help you.

1. You’ve become jealous

There’s no question that jealousy is a huge indicator that you’re starting to “catch feels.” A big reason that most people like hooking up is because they don’t want to commit to a single person. However, when these feelings start to change and you begin to notice that both of you gradually desire exclusivity, that’s a big sign you are both interested in being more than just a casual hookup.

Shelby Emerson, a freshman at the University of Texas at Tyler, says a little jealousy could be healthy. “Most girls will never admit it, but we can almost all agree that we all get a little excited when we see someone we are interested in get a little jealous,” she says. “Not only is it a sign he/she cares, but it could show you are the only one they are talking to therefore they expect the same from you.”

Don’t get us wrong, too much jealousy is never a healthy thing, but a little here and there could indicate they want you all to themselves. Everyone gets jealous at some point and that’s totally okay.

2. Your hangouts are not limited to hookups

If the person you’re talking to only wants to meet up to get lucky, it’s clear they’re not looking for a relationship. Johnathon Chang, a junior at the University of Texas at Austin, thinks this is a monumental step. “When you begin to do other things with your partner, that’s an indicator,” he says. “This means that you both genuinely enjoy each other’s presence even if it doesn’t give physical satisfaction.” We couldn’t agree more. A relationship takes a lot more than physical interaction and it’s important to have chemistry outside of the bedroom. When sex is no longer an assumed activity when meeting up, that may be a sign you’re ready for more.

Not only will you be getting more time with each other, but if you’re doing more than just hooking up, you’ll likely venture out and be seen in public together. Most people would rather not brag about their last hookup  unless there was a chance it would become something more. No one wants to introduce the new flame as “just someone I’m hooking up with.” Most of us like to keep it a secret and find running into them in public just awkward. Taking the time to introduce your partner to your friends is a huge step because it shows that you are slowly integrating them into your every day life. When you start to become more open about your more-than-friends relationship, it is a big implication that this is more than just a one-night-stand.

3. You text throughout the day

We know this may seem to be an insignificant factor, but especially in this digital-centered time we are living in, this shows a lot more than you may think. Texting throughout the day is a huge time commitment and most people tend to get bored of the typically meaningless conversations. When you and your partner are constantly able to carry a conversation throughout the day it shows your partner is genuinely interested in knowing what you’re up to all the time. Angela Huynh, a sophomore at Collin College, explains this feeling. “I never really find myself motivated to text someone I’m not interested unless it’s my close friends,” she admits. “Most of the time, it just ends up feeling like an obligation and the conversation hardly goes anywhere.” Relatable much?

Texting throughout the day could also mean they care for you emotionally in addition to just physically. It’s pretty obvious when a she/he is just using you for physical needs. Their texts would probably be some variation of “wyd rn.” However, if he or she is texting you constantly about other things, or is there for you emotionally, whether it be helping you through family problems or simply genuinely wanting to get to know you, it’s pretty likely this is more than just a casual hookup.

4. Communicate with your partner

When it comes down to it, you’ll never know for sure unless you communicate with your partner. It’s not up to just you if you want to cross the line from hooking up to dating; it’s a two- way street. The best way to be sure is to simply ask and discuss the situation. If you aren’t comfortable doing that, maybe you’re not ready for that step. Stephanie Huynh, a sophomore at Lehigh University, could attest to this. “If talking about it is too scary or too big of step I think that’s a pretty good sign you’re not quite ready,” she says. “Relationships are about communication. If you can’t start there, it’s not a good beginning.” We couldn’t have said it better ourselves.

A significant other is someone you will ultimately end up sharing most of your feelings with and being able to communicate with them honestly is vital to a healthy relationship.

Related Article: 7 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Date Someone New

Moving forward can be a scary thing. Especially when you’re trying to decide whether you should take the leap from hooking up casually to dating. There are a lot of risks that come from crossing this bridge, but we’re here to help you through it. We know, sometimes not having to worry about feelings can seem easier, but if you think it could be something more, don’t be afraid to try it out! Maybe you can be the next Chuck Bass and Blair Waldorf.

Dajin Kim is a Junior Advertising major at the University of Texas at Austin who was born and raised in Plano, Texas. In addition to being a feature writer for HerCampus, she enjoys chick flicks, meeting new people, long naps, and bowling. Dajin is a dedicated Dallas Mavericks fan and her favorite artists are the Chainsmokers and Black Bear. You can find her at the trendiest coffee shops in Austin brainstorming for new ideas or studying. By writing for HerCampus, she hopes that her passion for writing will allow her to connect with new people nationwide. Her instagram is @dajinkimm and her twitter is @dajin_kim