HCers know that going out with your girlfriends can be the start to an amazing night – borrowing each other’s clothes and getting ready together, heading out for dinner and drinks, having the required catch-up sesh. But continuing the night at a bar or party can take a disastrous turn when you feel like the ugly duckling because everyone else is flirting with a cute boy but you. Everyone has an off night and most of the time it is all in your head. But this creeping feeling can make even the most confident HCer resort to defense mechanisms. Here are some things to avoid doing, plus how to turn your luck around:
Don’t: Go Home
When a night turns sour, it’s easy to just throw in the towel and call it a night. You think to yourself, “Nobody is talking to me anyway, why would they care?” But this is the easiest way to create a bad cycle of low self-confidence. While it may be that you haven’t been approached or you feel like no one has noticed you, it may just be that nobody has come to talk to you, yet. The cute guy sitting with his friends across the room might just be getting up the confidence to come over to strike up a conversation as you leave the bar.
Look at it this way: if you go home, you definitely won’t meet anyone; if you stick around, there’s a chance you still will. You can’t argue with the odds.
Do: Decide you’ll stay until a certain time, and keep up your full energy until then.
Don’t: Go Overboard
Instead of going home, an insulted HCer may do exactly the opposite and try too hard to get noticed. Don’t try to avoid the situation by turning to the bar and ordering a few too many cocktails. If you’re stumbling around the bar or dragging your friends to the bathroom because you feel sick, it’ll ruin everyone’s night (not to mention yours).
“Being overly aggressive definitely makes a girl stand out, but for all the wrong reasons,” Rick, University of Maryland student, said.
Do: Add to the fun—chime in with a good story or suggest all heading to the dance floor to see who has the best moves.
Don’t: Become a Wallflower
It’s also just as easy to sink back in your seat and act disinterested for the rest of the night by avoiding conversation and engaging in nonstop texting. But instead of drawing attention to yourself, this will just make the people around you feel like you don’t want to talk to them or even be there at the bar that night. People will be more likely to come up to you and start a conversation if you give off the “friendly and approachable” rather than the “cold and too good for you” vibe.
Do: Remain engaged in what’s going on around you by chatting up a friend of the guy your friend is talking to or someone you recognize from one of your classes. Also, don’t be afraid to meet new people – you’ll make new friends and have a good night!
Don’t: Pull Your Friends Away
If one of your girlfriends is hitting it off with one of the guys you met at the bar that night, the last thing you can do as a good friend is to tug on her arm and say you want to move to a different area or a different bar. While you may feel left out of the conversation, there are other ways to deal with the situation besides bringing someone else’s night down too.
Do: Offer to get a drink for your friend and strike up an interesting conversation with the bartender. If you’re really feeling that moving to another bar would make the night a little more exciting, invite the guys that your friends are hanging out with to come along.
Get It Girl
In the end, it comes down to having confidence. Having an off night can happen to anyone and there could be a number of factors – mostly boiling down to you being your own worst enemy. Don’t let the creeping feeling get the best of you. When you’re feeling down, remind yourself how good you look in your new top or think about when that cute guy winked at you at Starbucks earlier in the day.
Of course, the best way make a night better is to take charge and do something about it. Scan the room for a cute guy and instead of waiting around for him to come up to you, approach him on the dance floor and get your night started!
Sources:
Rick, student at University of Maryland – College Park