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Is it really such a big deal who texts who first? I stress so much when a guy I have been talking to doesn’t text me first, but he always answers me right away when I text first. Guys always say they like when girls text them first… but sometimes that makes us feel creepy! Shouldn’t there be an in between?! If he doesn’t have to text first every time… Neither should I, right? – Confused at Carlson
You want to text him first? That’s so weird. Pretty soon you’ll be looking to analyze his texts, right? This is what’s killing chivalry.
I’m completely kidding. It’s not weird at all. So let’s dive into it.
First, let me say that I’ve hated rules like this for far too long. At some point in time, someone was probably powering through hour 10 of a chick-flick marathon and came to the conclusion that women must wait for men to text them first. This “rule” is dumb and whoever made it up should have their thumbs cut off so they cannot text anyone (kidding). But seriously, all this rule has done is created unwanted and unnecessary anxiety. This rule of dating is obsolete.
Just as you mentioned, when women text guys, we generally respond immediately, right? This is because we absolutely love this stuff. Most of the time, we’re unsure of your interest level in us. Also it’s much easier for us to look creepy than it is for the woman to look creepy. So, there is a reason to why we respond almost immediately. Rather than us being the ones to initiate contact and stress about when you’ll answer, you’ve shown us that you’re interested in us. Quite frankly, this is one of the most awesome feelings in the world.
Let me show you what I mean. For example, there have been several instances where I’d meet someone new but wasn’t sure exactly how to get the ball rolling. It would be obvious that I was interested, but for some reason, she would be harder to read. In cases like this, I think it’s almost better if the woman texts first.
So you think that it will come off as a bit desperate? Trust me, it won’t. It won’t sound creepy either. There really is no harm in shooting him a text every once in a while to ask what he’s up to. The only thing to think about is if you’re always the one to initiate the conversation. Since the guys answer almost immediately as you said, I’d imagine that it isn’t that they’re not interested in you. It sounds more like they may simply be intimidated or are unsure of how you feel. Perhaps try opening up a bit more. If you’re clearer of your affection, it won’t be long until they’ll be initiating the texts.