Broke from calling late night love lines for advice? Looking for the lowdown on the hoedown when it comes to college guys? Real Live College Guy Sean is here to help you pick apart the mind of the average college guy. Whether it’s avoiding that awkward weekend hook-up or full-on relationship advice, Sean is here to save the day!
Long story short: I was a total sl*t in high school. I have more than one embarrassing moment in my relationship history that I’d love to just erase completely. I’m really sick of the whole casual sex culture though, and now I just want a fresh start for college. However, I’m very fearful that my past is going to come back to haunt me. Obviously, I don’t plan on going around broadcasting my former reputation, but I feel like my history would be a huge turn-off for any genuine, quality guy. I also fear that it will garner unwanted attention from some of the creeps on campus who knew the old me. I know I’m serious about making a change, but how do I get others, especially a guy I’m serious about, to see that? – Not That Girl Anymore in NJ
So you’re looking to start fresh after a rough time in high school. Totally doable. Luckily, this sort of change is mostly dependent on you.
First of all, what you need to worry about most is yourself. Everyone has demons from the past, myself included. There will always be things in life that you’re not proud of. The way you deal with them is to accept who you were by acknowledging them and moving on. Get closure.
Once you’re in college, you’ll have the chance to fully change who you are. Don’t worry about people who knew the old you. In college, people get pushed and pulled in different directions, so if you don’t want to see them, you don’t have to. Furthermore, no one worth your time will hassle you about your past because, quite frankly, it’s immature and a waste of time. Who you were in high school doesn’t really matter when you’re in college, especially when making new friends.
Let get hypothetical, though. What happens if a guy you’re interested in hears rumors about your high school past? Your mind starts racing, your heart beats faster, and you panic that he’ll just dump you on the spot. Well chillax, because if he’s legit, he won’t. This not only is a good time to talk about your past (obviously), but it’s also a time where you can gauge how much he’s into you. If this rumor bothered him (which, for some guys, it may not at all), he’ll bring it up to you. When he comes to you, tell him what you told me here – that it was the old you, that you’re not like that anymore, and that while rumors are annoying, you’re not going to let it affect you today, as you’re a different person now. As long as you’re honest about it, it shouldn’t get in the way of your relationship. Personally, I’d be more inclined to trust a girl I was dating if she came forward about something like this. It shows that you’re not perfect, and I like that, because God knows I’m not perfect either.
Don’t worry about your past turning off any genuine guy. If he’s with you now, it’s because of who you are today, not who you were in high school. If you don’t let your past bother you, it won’t bother him.