In the college world of one-night stands and hook-ups, you would think that simply talking to guys would be a basic skill every girl has mastered. However, that’s not always the case. Sometimes, talking to boys can be as difficult as talking to a brick wall (a cute brick wall, but a brick wall nonetheless). We’ve all been there: that moment when the words just don’t come to you and your palms start to sweat. You want to say something, but you just can’t think of the perfect cute and charming anecdote to kick-start a convo. Here are some go-to tips to help you get the dialogue flowing!
1. Introduce Yourself and Ask About Him
“Hey, so how do you know the host?”
It’s a relatively simple first step, but it’s something that a lot of collegiettes struggle with. You can do it! Channel your confidence, look up and take the initiative to introduce yourself. Shoot for something like this:
“Hi, I’m [your name].”
“Hey, I’m [his name]. It’s nice to meet you.”
“It’s nice to meet you too! So, how do you know the party host?
“Ha, well, funny story. He and I actually…”
Ask him some questions about the host or about what he does in his spare time. Those topics will get him talking and make him more comfortable. One topic everyone can talk about is himself or herself, and everyone has a story to tell; you just have to find the right approach!
2. Challenge Him
“What? Are you guys scared of girls or something?!”
Sometimes, skipping the introductions and taking a shortcut is the best route to a successful interaction with a guy. Allison, a sophomore at the University of Missouri, prefers this approach. “I once went up to a group of guys at a frat house who were just standing against the wall, and [I] said, ‘What? Are you guys scared of girls or something?!’” she says. “And it totally worked! We just kind of started talking from there.”
A surefire, clever way to get his back off the wall is by channeling your audacity. Why not challenge him to a round of *ahem* ping-pong? While approaching that cute fella across the room can seem a bit intimidating, remember that you’re a catch! Think like the catch you are.
3. Compliment Him
“I really like your shirt. J.Crew, right?”
When you’re not up to challenging him, just be nice. Try complimenting him on something that he’s wearing. Boys can put just as much thought and effort into their appearance as girls. When you take the time out to recognize that, it can go a long way. He’ll be flattered that you noticed! And, chances are, that’ll break the ice just enough for you to make way for a decent conversation.
That’s exactly what happened to Brittany, a junior at Indiana University. “Someone was wearing a shirt with The Office on it, and I just said, ‘Oh, I love that show!’” she says. “And we just talked about the show for a while.” As long as you’re not overly critical of what a guy chose to wear that night, commenting on a piece of his wardrobe will definitely get that flow going.
[pagebreak]
4. Ask Him to Take Your Picture
“Hey, can you take our picture?”
At a party, there are many photo ops. The girl from your Spanish class freshman year just walked in, and you want to commemorate this moment with a picture of you two. Ask the guy you’ve been eyeing for a while if he will do the honors. Of course, if he’s on the other side of the room, don’t walk all the way across the room just to have him take a photo of you. But, if he’s nearby and potentially observing as this scene unfolds, don’t hesitate to ask for his help.
While this may be a question that guys get a lot at parties, don’t treat him like every single other guy who’s ever taken a photo for you. After capturing the moment, be sure to thank him, but also take this opportunity to introduce yourself. It’s the perfect way to break the ice. Maybe you could even get a picture with him by the end of the night!
5. Ask Him About Your Class
“Did you hear what the professor said about the paper due date? I couldn’t hear her.”
This time, you’re not out on the town or at a party. You’re in class, and the mood is a little more serious. But he’s still cute, and you still want to talk to him. So, ask a question about what was just assigned. While you want to avoid plaguing him with a bunch of obvious questions, a simple comment here and there goes a long way. Also, keep in mind that there’s a different between pulling a Cady Heron and legitimately inquiring about necessary information. You’re one smart cookie, so don’t try to hide it!
6. Crack a Joke
If you’re goofy, don’t hide it! If you’re sassy, work it. By being yourself, you’ll make the guy you’re talking to feel more relaxed when he realizes that you aren’t trying to impress him.
Allison has no problem showing off her silly side. Borrow one of her go-to lines at a party when you just want to get the conversation started: “Correct me if I’m wrong, but is that Elvis over there?!” she says. “It’s funny because Elvis is never over there…”
Making guys laugh is a quick and easy way into their hearts. It also serves as a memorable moment from the night. How many girls come up to them and start asking about Elvis Presley?
When conversing with the male species, realize that both parties have to be willing to make that connection and put in a little effort. If the guy you’re talking to just isn’t biting for whatever reason, don’t hesitate to move on. You are a confident, classy collegiette! As long as you keep that in mind whenever you approach a guy, he can’t help but give you the time of day.