Growing up, my parents didn’t allow me or my siblings to download Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or Snapchat. We were, however, allowed to use YouTube and Pinterest, so we weren’t total hermits. Their typical reasoning exclaimed “because you don’t need it” or “because we’re trying to protect you.” While I never wanted to admit it at the time, they were right: I didn’t need it, and it did keep me safe.
I don’t need social media to know that it’s often toxic. What once began as an opportunity for social networking has now developed into an endless cycle of society statuses. The constant need for likes and obsession with filters has infiltrated our daily lives and messed with our happiness. Though this constant connection is incredibly beneficial during our remote learning days, people are spending more and more time scrolling and posting. Additionally, social media largely contributes to young adult’s discovery of self-identity. In a digital age, we’re bombarded with massive amounts of information from every direction. If we’re not careful, we’ll go crazy.
Throughout my middle school and high school career, I consistently felt as if I was missing something. I was always out of the loop regarding current lingo and fashion trends. I was the last to hear about memes, which made me the last to laugh at them. Lagging on pop culture kept me from learning the top 10 playlists when those songs were actually popular. I may have latched onto some jams later on, but I’ve never been a fan of current music anyways. Upon high school graduation, my parents permitted me to download whatever apps I wanted. I immediately considered caving and setting up accounts with clever biographies, but for some reason, I decided against it. Over time, I have grown to not mind being the weirdo who isn’t attached to her phone like everyone else. In fact, I have learned some things about myself:
- I am a leader.
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• Because I initially wasn’t allowed to download social media platforms, I never really jumped on bandwagons. I’ve never understood the hype behind Tik Tok, and I’ve never felt the need to stay in touch with the world through Facebook. Posting hourly status updates for strangers to read doesn’t make sense to me. No judgment here, though, if that’s your jam!
• I discovered my style early on. Without culture’s influence through mass media, I was able to explore who I wanted to be and naturally develop into who I was meant to be. I created my own eccentric fashion style and acquired a crap ton of spunky items in my wardrobe. Sometimes I’ve been a real-life trendsetter without even knowing current trends.
• Being the initiator doesn’t bother me. Whenever I want to hang out with someone, I call or text them. I’ve never felt left out of parties or social events. If people intended to invite me, they’d text me separately. The people I truly care about always know how to contact me.
- I live in the moment.
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• Living life without all these extra apps on my phone keeps my devices free from overwhelming notifications. It also creates more space to store valuable content such as pictures with my friends or videos from my chamber ensembles.
• I don’t need to know what everyone is doing every second of the day. If I wanted to know something, I would call them! Keeping up to date with my high school acquaintances that all married each other doesn’t interest me. Sure, sometimes I wonder what so-and-so is up to. If my curiosity gets the best of me, I can always have a friend check a relationship status or recent post.
• Whenever I attend events and social gatherings (PRE-COVID, of course), I feel free to pay attention to what’s going on. I have no need to check up on Instagram stories or keep Snap streaks alive before the clock hits midnight. Spending quality time with those around you beats ceiling pictures any day.
- I create authentic relationships.
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• I’m not necessarily a private person; I just prefer old-fashioned methods to keep in touch. Sending hand-written letters or catching up with friends over the phone are beautiful gestures. It’s much easier to connect with others around you without a screen in between.
• Even though I take selfies, I don’t need to invest time in editing them or taking the perfect one to upload to the internet. I can snap pictures of myself for myself. Likewise, I can truly value captured moments with my friends and family. Life is refreshing when there’s no need to seek approval from likes or views.
• My lack of online presence largely benefits my future occupation. Unlike my fellow aspiring educators, I don’t need to worry about employers locating inappropriate content for the world to see. This is a huge weight off my shoulders.
People are generally shocked when I share that I hardly use social media. Its absence from my life has almost become part of my identity. Throughout my undergraduate years, some colleagues find it fascinating that I’ve lived life without these platforms. Conversely, some peers ask why I don’t have them and insist that I download everything immediately. I’ll continue to reply with the same reason: “I don’t need it; I’m too busy living.”
Note that the attributes above can certainly still apply to those who regularly utilize social media. I have plenty of acquaintances who maintain leadership and authenticity with their online presence as they live in the moment. If you’re disappointed with your increased screen time due to the pandemic, consider de-activating for lent or trying a digital detox day! Find alternative hobbies and pastimes to engage in besides mindlessly scrolling: read more books, watch more movies, go on long hikes, and play new board games. If it’s too great of a challenge to fully un-plug, try setting time limits for your socials. Little things can make a big difference!