Girls and young women are constantly under attack from the media, their peers, and others in their lives. They are constantly seen and treated as shallow and immature sub-humans whose feelings and opinions are invalid. It is easy enough to recognize external misogyny and men who perpetrate this dangerous mindset. It is not so easy, however, to recognize our internal misogyny, and how we as women can contribute to the dehumanizing of women and girls.
When Zayn left One Direction, the fandom was heartbroken. As someone who has had three members leave her favorite band, I understood their feelings. The internet, however, was not so empathetic. I began to see post after post mocking these girls and reducing them to nothing more than unreasonable children who were stupid to get so worked up over Zayn’s departure.
It was an unforgiving time for these girls, one that worsened as other girls began to turn on them. It was a return of the “I’m not like other girls” movement. Girls who weren’t Directioners announced how different and better they were for not investing themselves in boybands.
At one point, some girls began to speak up and defend those who had been mocked by so many people. Things began to change. I started seeing more posts in defense of the fandom and calling out anyone who had mocked them for their feelings. Things finally started improving, and the backlash against these girls lessened.
However, this story is just one of many of its kind. Girls and young women are mocked for everything they love and pursue. Does a girl like boybands? It does not matter if they are British, American, or Korean; she will be attacked and belittled. Does she like romance movies and novels? She is shallow. The girls who love video games and action movies? They’re fake and probably just trying to be “one of the boys”. The list is unending. Men are allowed to start riots if their favorite sports team loses a game, but it is shameful for a girl to cry because her favorite band lost a member.
We are conditioned from an early age that being a boy means freedom and the opportunity to love whatever he wants—unless what he loves could be perceived as feminine. Girls are taught that their lives will come with a set of rules and expectations that are impossible to follow. We are not only taught that we are to be quiet, pretty, and feminine, but also that to be feminine is to be a lesser being or a sub-human.
Knowing this, it is vital we break away from the internalized misogyny that causes us to criticize other girls for the clothes they wear, music they like, or who they are as a person. We are each unique, powerful, and complete individuals; and with a united front, we can fight for a world where equality, respect, and freedom is available for all marginalized and oppressed groups.