“I don’t know” has been the cause for several of the most uncomfortable situations I faced in school. I despise being picked on in class when I don’t have an answer. Having to say “I don’t know” sucks, but often feels unavoidable. What are you supposed to say instead of “I don’t know?”
The worst was back in high school when my math teacher was the absolute biggest jerk of a teacher I have ever had. I honestly don’t know why he was a teacher. He was actually cruel and I didn’t learn anything in the class because of it. and he would put you down if you had the wrong answer. Therefore, especially as an introvert, I naturally didn’t want to guess the answers to his questions or get extra help. This resulted in more “I don’t know” situations.
We learn that there’s no shame in not knowing, yet so many people are then unequivocally unimpressed when you tell them that you don’t know the answer to something.
A realization that I’ve made about the frustration induced for the speaker by “I don’t know,” or the disappointment it causes the listener, is that it’s less about the fact that you don’t know. Instead, the reaction is more a result of the phrase and the repetition of it– the frequency of how often you say “I don’t know”. Here are a few ideas on how to avoid saying the words:
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Respond with a joke in order to evade answering the question or a give a smart-alec response. Be careful who you use this with.
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Phrase it differently. “To be honest with you, I haven’t the slightest” Be careful with your alternative phrase though. Only use it on occasion as a total backup, otherwise it will just become the equivalent of “I don’t know.”
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Pretend like you didn’t hear the question.
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Beat around the bush while you think of a response. For instance, repeat the question, or ask the person who asked the question what they said. Makes exclamations before responding, such as “that’s an interesting question!” Throw in some dramatic pauses, opening with statements like “Well, you know *dramatic pause*” or “What I personally feel about the matter *dramatic pause* is”
Sometimes being picked on wasn’t such a bad thing. In high school english class, although I understood it for the most part, I would often zone out because of trouble with focusing. Being called out encouraged me to pay attention during class. During York University PASS sessions for Calculus, I was picked on to answer questions frequently because the group was so small, but it got me the help I needed to get through the class. During interview questions, the words “I don’t know” often pop into my head as a response, but knowing that I can’t respond with the phrase helps me learn to think on my toes.
Perhaps not the easiest fix, but the most effective resolution is probably to educate yourself. So if you are dealing with a question about something which you believe you ought to know and you can learn, you should.
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