I know that with the election blowing us away with the results, that people may have become careless in terms of their sexual health. Just like with the Cubs winning, we are probably going to be having a mini-baby boomer on our hands but with little Trump supporters.
We want to make sure that we are keeping our boots all fine and dandy before we start knocking them. So sit back, take a nice shower, eat some pineapple and listen to the sounds of safe sex tips from someone who is lacking in that department.
Beware the body count – Sex is great and all. I totally get it. But having caressed too many skeletons in your closet can be a bit horrifying. Try to keep the act of sex sexy by being intimate. But if you are the type of person, who does not find this to be a deciding factor then feel free.
Breathe, stretch, shake, let it go – Take the time out to do a friendly stretch before you go mattress dancing. You may think that you are young and limber enough to do things that are incredibly outrageous yet extremely satisfying. But you know what makes it not so sexy? Popping a boner and popping a hip.
Show them what you are working with – And no I don’t mean your package. But making sure your partner can see what kind of protection you will dealing with in your time of fornication. You know what is hotter than consent? Consented sex with protection.
Mutual Achievement – We all like passing tests right? But make sure you fail all STI tests. Make sure that you and your partner are fully cleared before you start smashing the nasties. And it can be challenging and a bit awkward asking your partner to get test. But be confident. You want to have sex with this person right? Then ask away!
The Lube Tube – Lube is one of those things that people always like to try when twisting under the sheets. But before you start buying it by the bucket, make sure that your partner is okay with it. I mean, lube is lube but people really like to take le peen a bit more…dry. There’s water based. If you get that, it does not irritate your skin. But that is if it;s the good kind of water based. The Great Value kind might piss off your vag. Also, make sure to read the labels because if it gets in your mouth and it is not edible…just beware.
That is all the sexual tips that I have for you guys. Be bold, be beautiful, and be able to try anal once. Just once (consent required)