Miley Cyrus is brilliant. I don’t care if you think she’s amazing or horrible, either way, you’re thinking about her and hence therefore, she’s doing her job right. If it weren’t for her performance at the VMAs you’d probably still be somewhat on the fence with your opinion about her – you’d have noticed she is no longer the conservative Disney princess. Instead, she is now a scantily clad, provocative young lady who likes to throw her lady parts around, but then again, after a few pitchers at Vivas, don’t we all?
Post-VMAs, everyone has an opinion. Her fiancé (if that’s even still a thing) was quoted saying he was “mortified” about her performance. In contrast, her father (not sure how much credit his opinion deserves, I mean hello have you heard ‘Achy Breaky Heart’?) and Justin Timberlake seem to be some of the few who support her performance.
Unfortunately for Miley, you may be talking about her VMA performance for a few more days but you’ll never be talking about her Vogue cover, considering there won’t be one. Following the VMA performance, Anna Wintour pulled her cover. What Anna Wintour couldn’t pull were the millions of articles, tweets and blog posts written about the VMAs and the vogue cover controversy, so she’s just fueling Miley’s famous fire. Miley is good at being famous and in twenty years time, her career will be studied and praised.
Joe J., a self-proclaimed Miley Cyrus fanatic, had lots to say when asked for comment on the Miley phenomenon. In regards to the VMAs, he says “teenagers are crazy and they are going to try things – I would argue that teenagers who don’t try things can’t really decide who they want to be” well, amen to that. I’m sure when my mother encouraged me to try new things and discover myself, she pictured me rubbing myself with a foam finger in front of the world. I think TSwift should try a few more provocative things to figure out who she wants to be, I vote more skin from Taylor and less weepy love songs.
In case you weren’t one of the 9 million people to watch Miley’s new video within the first 12 hours it was released, Joe will fill you in on what you’re missing. He says “she performs oral sex on a sledge hammer after riding on a wrecking ball naked”. I mean that description alone will lead people to search it up on YouTube. Come on, I know you’re curious as to what a naked Miley Cyrus looks like swinging around on a wrecking ball. You’re probably also curious to see Miley Cyrus perform fellatio on a sledge hammer because I mean, it’s always useful to have a video reference for the next time you yourself attempt oral sex on a sledgehammer. By now, I bet you’ve already opened a new tab. Yah go for it, did I mention she wears a semi see-through white shirt with no bra? She’s begging for attention and the world is giving it to her.
The best thing that came from my correspondence with Joe was his statement about the important lesson Miley is teaching every current generation, and that is: who cares about what everyone else thinks?