I have this huge problem where I take everyone’s advice to heart. If someone tells me my hair looks bad, I’ll immediately go fix it. If someone tells me they like my new perfume, I’ll wear it everyday. It’s not that I have this urge to please people, I just do it. I always have and I can’t really help it. Usually this doesn’t end in bad outcomes. This time, however, ended in many sleepless nights.
I had this boyfriend. He was amazing. He loved me the way a boyfriend should and he treated me like GOLD. He made some mistakes but so did I. The issue is that I vented to my friends more than I told them the good things. Obviously when I’m upset about a situation I want to talk to someone and I thought that my friends would be those people who would listen and tell me it’s okay. This wasn’t the case. Instead they told me how bad he treated me and how I deserved better. I knew that wasn’t true! I was the one dating him, not them.
As you can probably guess this outcome, we broke up. Actually, I broke up with him. I saw this video that made me high-key jealous and again, like always, I told my friends. All of the talk of how terrible it was and how I deserved better got to me. Us being five hours apart doesn’t help with the whole communication aspect either. That first night I really thought I did the right thing.
After the second night, and the third night, and every night of the week had gone by of me crying at least one point in the day I knew that I had made the stupidest decision I had made in a while. So, naturally, I reached out to him. I didn’t expect much. I broke up with him and that was something I had to live with. Reaching out didn’t result in anything but me being overwhelmingly emotional again.
There hasn’t been one day in these past 2 weeks that I haven’t thought about him, his family, or how beautiful we were together. I love him. That’s all there is to it. I made a mistake but I live by God and I live by the motto “everything happens for a reason.” God knows what he’s doing. If we’re meant to be, we will be. If not, I will eventually see the beautiful light at the end of this dark tunnel I’m in right now.
Moral of the story, don’t let your friends make you do it.