As many students tread the brick pathways of the quaint campus of Western, I only remember a face or two in the massive waves of on comers. I’d make small talk in line waiting for coffee here and there, I’d make it a challenge to sit next to a cute boy in a class.
But what’s to come of that? Maybe I get a name, where they’re living, what other classes they’re taking, but by no means am I given the time of day to make genuine, long lasting connections solely off of my daily routine.
I was pondering this concept of “getting myself out there” while gazing out into the distance, and then my attention snapped to a notification radiating a friends phone; reading, “Congratulations! You have a new match!”
Already I’m already considering whether or not I’m missing out on the dating scene due to the absence of the popular app Tinder, on my phone. However, I press on.
“I didn’t know you had a Tinder,” I point out.
“I mean, it’s entertainment,” she says with a smirk as she reads whatever corny pickup line she had just been presented with.
So already the demeanor is set for me. I find myself bored quite frequently. Why not get something to entertain myself?
I decided to make it a challenge. I had way too much time on my hands, and I made it a mission to get as many different results as I possibly could.
Trying out Tinder for myself
So I got a few matches, then a couple more, then a few more, and before I knew it I was getting messages on messages ranging from excessive compliments to simple hellos to addresses and invites over (hey at least it’s a man who knows what he’s after).
I went on a typical 2am “Tinder date” which is exactly what the name suggests. This match made a seamless transition in and out of my life and it was just as effortless as everyone had made it seem.
However, I’ve gotten the brutal results as well. The ego-kick of an unmatch after some seemingly pleasant conversation. The rude remarks if I don’t respond fast enough.
I had someone get far too attached to me in under 24 hours. He ended up being older than his profile stated and after 48 hours he was asking for my address, at which point I finally had the guts to utilize the “block” function.
Finding Love with the Tinder Stigma
In a sea of swipe-rights it was actually possible to create a connection with someone. Which begged the question: is it possible to find romance on this app? I went on a date with one of the boys I had matched with and every once in awhile I make chit chat or check in with some of my other potential real-life matches.
So that brought on a few more questions for me. Should I see this boy as a potential suitor or as nothing more than a “Tinder boy” ?
That is typically the primary issue with online dating, and especially with this app in particular. It is so easy to generalize all the individuals you encounter as someone who is looking for a one night stand because that is exactly what the app is for! It is often very difficult to create a long lasting connection with someone through that medium because we are fine tuned to assuming that it is not going to last.
Whether or not something great can come out of Tinder is an age old question constantly present on social media and constantly talked about when someone thinks they found “the one.” Upon inquiring the legitimacy of these Tinder connections on another anonymous format by the name of YikYak, the results varied.
“Well,” and anonymous commenter has stated in response to the question, “my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and we met off of Tinder.”
So yes, suggested cards are played right and communication is bountiful, a wonderful relationship can blossom out of something on your phone.
“Yes, I met my boyfriend off of Tinder and it was great… Until I realized he had a girlfriend the entire time. So EX boyfriend.”
I suppose it is just a matter of finding the correct person, following your gut, and communicating. Using a format like Tinder is tricky, it is kind of a hit or miss.
Breaking the cycle:
Tinder, along with many other legitimate dating sites come with a lot of judgement. Upon participating in a class discussion about Tinder I recall someone refer to it as an, “app to help the people that lack social skills.”
That struck a nerve. Such a blatant and unsupported statement generalizes both parties involved in the app, when I see it in the opposite light. In fact I think it allows students to get to know people both on campus and off, thus allowing them to get to know their surroundings, as well as get to know themselves.
The way I see it, everyone has a story on how they met their significant other. I caught up with a friend who met his girlfriend on OkCupid. Online dating in and of itself is a tricky topic because there is still an entire generation out there that despises the idea of technology aiding in social matters.
If I brought someone home to my parents and told them I met them online, they would probably roll their eyes. But honestly, other people meet in bars, yet somehow that is more socially acceptable.
The process and outcome is the exact same thing! A person can walk into a bar, approach a potential suitor, make small talk, and make a night of it. A Western student can be hanging out with friends, or be mindlessly doing homework in their room when they decide to “approach” a potential suitor, make small talk, and make a night of it. The only major difference is the format.
Taking Tinder to Western
I remember back in the days when we were all 15/16 year old hopefuls trying this dating app for the first time in hopes of good conversation and a hopeful connection with someone. The suitors themselves often lived far off, or couldn’t drive, or couldn’t meet up due to a lack of parental permission.
Now that we are liberated adults free of doing whatever we want, Tinder’s dynamic changes from hopeful connection to probable one-time hookup. The people you connect with are within a mile of you and you’ve got all the time to go release your pent up sexual tension.
Does Tinder bring us together as a student body or just create more awkward tension than necessary? That I often receive mixed signals on.
In one respect it allows us as relatively-cooped-up students to see the options that lie farther beyond the walls of our homes and classrooms. It allows us to be shallow in respect of swiping right only if the guy seems worthy. In a way it’s empowering, it’s also a pretty nice ego boost.
In other respects I have also heard horror stories from friends about how they were “almost seen in public by their Tinder date” and how “mortifying” that situation is. I suppose the outlook on this type of social media depends entirely on its user. It brings us together to allow us to get to know one another just to be estranged by the time the sun rises.
The Takeaway
Should you choose to partake in Tinder, be careful of what BOTH parties’ intentions are, make sure the other person involved is at least a semi decent person that respects your wishes, and do not get eager to give out too much information too fast.
Despite the poor judgement it was entertaining to discover those around me, both on and off campus, ranging in various ages, backgrounds, etc. I mean after all, above all else, it is genuinely just entertainment.