Warnings:
-Contains some spoilers for ‘Jessica Jones’
-Both ‘Jessica Jones’ and this article deal mainly with sensitive topics such as rape and abuse, and could be triggering. Read and watch according to your own limits.
Jessica Jones is a Netflix original show that takes place in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and it is a roaring success in every way. The cinematography is unparalleled, the characters are deep, and the dialogue is impactful. Above all, the plot is rich and multi-layered. On the surface, its an action packed chase to catch a dangerous supervillain. Below that however, there is something deeper. Our titular character has vicious PTSD from the time that she was held captive and abused by the main villain. His powers of mind control took away her every defense and turned her into his puppet. Throughout the series she must deal with flashbacks, panic attacks, trust issues, and violent reactions to memories of her abuse. But why is this important? Why is this seemingly secondary plot actually more important than the action chase scene?
When I first saw the trailer for Jessica Jones, it was around the same time that I made some painful personal discoveries. At this point in my life I was coming to terms with the fact that my last relationship had been highly abusive. I had managed to label that relationship abusive in March after a lot of thought, help, resources, and support, but it took so much out of me to do so. By allowing myself to see the relationship for what it really was, I had to admit that I was a victim. Rather than deal with the feelings that that revelation brought up, I put it out of my mind, thinking that naming the act would absolve the feelings that were caused by it. I don’t think I need to tell you how wrong I was.
When I found out that people that knew at least some of what I went through were still friends with my ex, it brought back a lot of the feelings of self-doubt that had been instilled in me during the relationship. Wait, did that stuff all really happen? Was it really that bad? These people don’t seem to think so. In order to flush these doubts out of my head, I decided to write down every bit of abuse that I had been put through. If I could see the acts on paper, tangible and in front of me, I could remind myself that I wasn’t crazy, and that these things weren’t all in my head. It started as a great idea for self-validation, and ended up affecting me in ways that I didn’t expect.
You see, when you are a victim of abuse, you want to forget that it ever happened. With the worst acts that came from it, you want to push them down and not ever acknowledge them. But that’s pretty hard to do when you find yourself writing those things down on paper. When you write a list and see the bullet point reading “non-consensual sex” staring back at you without even realizing that you wrote it… That’s when you can’t push it down anymore.
It came as a shock to me, that I had never called it that before. Rationally, I had always known, but I had chosen to deny that knowledge because I didn’t want to accept it. At this point however, I had to. I had to apply the term non-consensual to the acts that I had been forced to superficially forgive. I had to recite to myself the parameters of consent, and accept that they were absent in my relationship. When you say “no,” and your abuser continues, that is non-consensual. When you are asleep and not able to say no, that is non-consensual. When you are too scared to say no because you’re afraid of what your abuser will do, that is non-consensual. Non-consensual sex is rape. It doesn’t matter if it is male/male, male/female, female/female, or a pairing involving any number of gender variance. It doesn’t matter if you are in a relationship with your abuser. It doesn’t matter if it wasn’t violent. It doesn’t matter if you have consented before. It doesn’t matter if you consented at first, but then changed your mind. If you do not want sexual relations with a person and they take advantage of you, that is rape.
But emotionally, how do you accept that? That this happened to you repeatedly and you didn’t really realize? How do you tamper the feelings of “Well I stayed, so wasn’t that my fault?” Was I really so naive that I let myself be brainwashed into thinking that this was normal? Why did I let myself be guilted into forgiving, time after time? The first way for me to replace those feelings with steps towards healing was to see a mental health professional. The second step towards healing for me was to watch ‘Jessica Jones.’
It may sound silly, that watching a TV show was my second step to healing, but I will explain why it helped me so much. Throughout Jessica Jones, every aspect of her abuse and recovery was realistic and raw. Jessica continually makes it clear that her abuser used his controls and manipulation to take advantage of her. When she finally confronts him about it and tells him that he raped her, he is offended. He asks her what part of him loving her, taking her to expensive restaurants, and buying her nice things was rape. He argues that she had a great time, and asks how he was to know if she was under his control or acting of her own free will. Jessica stands up to him by shouting that she didn’t want any of it, and just because he doesn’t see anything wrong with his actions doesn’t make them any less abusive.
Unfortunately, this is not exclusive to supervillains. This is how abusers act, and during that scene, I cried. In the episodes leading up to this one, I had seen my ex mirrored in Jessica’s tormenter often; in the way that he lied and manipulated and saw himself as blameless. But in this scene, Jessica told her abuser everything that I wished I could tell mine. From that moment on for the rest of the series, Jessica took back piece by piece of her life, until she finally snaps her tormentor’s neck and is able, for the first time in a long time, to live free of his influence. I fist pumped into the air and felt an overwhelming sense of relief that it was over for this fictional character, because she was able to do what I wish I could.
Now, I don’t mean that I wish to snap my ex’s neck, since they are not a mass murdering supervillain. What I wish for, is that same sense of relief. I was able to identify with Jessica so much, and I felt my experiences reflected in hers. I felt her desire to take back her life as my own. That desire is reflective of what makes this show so important. Jessica Jones, unlike many modern shows, is a show about rape and abuse recovery, not about rape itself. With characters so real, the plot is able to show very accurate symptoms of trauma and realistic depictions of the progresses and setbacks of healing. Jessica tries so hard to forget what happened to her, but realizes that she must face it head on, acting as her own advocate. The character of her best friend shows the astronomical need for an abuse victim to have unquestioning and unflagging support and love. The girl that her abuser moved on to and ruined as well shows the need to hold abusers accountable for their actions, so that they do not corrupt someone else too. Finally, the villain himself shows us in stark, unrelenting detail the unforgivable thought processes and actions of abusers.
Never have I read, heard, or seen such an accurate depiction of abuse and rape recovery in the popular media. Never have I seen such complete villainization of an abuser. The show makes no attempt to excuse his actions, like so many other shows try to do for rapists. The villain is given a tragic backstory, but it is not treated as an excuse for his actions. He is shown to be doing good things, and he often professes his “true love” for Jessica, but, and this is important, it does not excuse or erase his actions. No one says “But he had an awful childhood!” or “But he has mental issues!” or “He just couldn’t help it, it’s how he is.” Every moment of this show was a motivation for survivors to take back their lives. Every scene tells us that we are not alone. Every line tells us that we can be strong and make it through.
For me, the character of Jessica Jones is complete validation, clothed in alcohol soaked jeans and a leather jacket. That the show was released just when I needed it most was truly serendipitous. It reopened all my negative feelings towards my past relationship, but then it told me that those feelings were okay. I may not have the super strength of Jessica Jones, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t protect, save, and heal myself like she did. If she can do it, so can the thousands of viewers that have gone through similar experiences, and so can I. And if you have experienced dating abuse, rape, or domestic violence, so can you.
Whether you decide to watch Jessica Jones or not, here are some additional resources for abuse victims on campus and in the Bellingham community:
CASAS (Consultation and Sexual Assault Support): 360-650-3700 / Website
DVSAS (Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Services): 360-715-1563 / Website
WWU Counseling Center: 360-650-3164 / Website