There’s a certain extent to which us girls can bend, flex and mold ourselves into something we believe will fit someone’s model. You love this person, you truly care about them, but when does it become more about fear and less about love? As far as relationships go, there’s so many things that can create tension – an ex girlfriend, cheating, lying, or little things that build into a giant war. When do you become less of yourself and feel constantly on the defense and angry?
In the past, I’ve had relationships that have changed me, turned me into a bitter person, and it wasn’t until I had completely felt like a foreign being in my body that I realized this can’t be healthy. I’d see her number come up on his phone, but what does she owe me? Why do I want to call her and ring her out for all the turmoil she’s causing in my life? Well that’s just it, she isn’t causing the turmoil – he is. It was his lack of respect for me that created this anger. Obviously, he’s confused on his standing in this relationship that he isn’t being honest, or he’s just plain insecure and needs the attention.
There are so many girls out there that will sit around and let themselves be tortured like that. It doesn’t make sense anymore now that we’re adults to be in something that doesn’t have potential to go further than any other relationship we have been in. We’re old enough now that we should be able to recognize when something is real or not. We should be able to acknowledge that unless there is something solid behind your emotions, then it’s not worth your time. If you find yourself reminiscing on what was or used to be, and less about what is now, you’ll end up miserable. People change when emotions are involved, and honestly, as college students we should be trying to figure out who we truly are, instead of spending immense amounts of time being insecure over the images that we think we are.
If you measure the amount of time you spend being upset versus the time you spend worry-free and happy, and misery triumphs what are we doing? Sure there were times you were happy, but those are just minor things that you can use to fill the mold of the perfect relationship you one day will have. No one should ever settle, no matter what. It’s all about finding someone that accepts you for you, but at the same time you respect everything about them. When your relationship is so solid you don’t need to ever worry about the other person hurting you, then you can be freely yourself in something that will make you grow.