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17 Signs You’re a Retired Dancer

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at WVU chapter.

 

1. No matter the situation, you always count “5, 6, 7, 8” instead of “1, 2, 3”

2. You find yourself standing in 1st position more often than not

And in random relevés, passés, tendus, etc.

 

3. Any circular motion you do MUST be spotted

4. You’re still a huge critic of other dancers

Thinks to self “For the love of God, please just finish your fingers, point your toes, and use your port de bra!”

 

5. Your “messy bun” always ends up looking ballet-class-ready

Growing up with perfectly slicked, left parted buns trained you for life, so you can’t stand crazy fly-aways, even if it’s just for class

 

6. Grocery aisles will forever be the perfect opportunity to do an across the floor combination

*tombe pas de bourree glissade grand jete*     

 

7. Your ankles and toes still crack with every step you take

You get extremely paranoid when you have to walk across a quiet room, especially if you’re in sandals

 

8. You’re tired of hearing “Wow, you’re so flexible!”

People love to ask how you got so flexible, and when you try to explain you were doing over splits since the age of five, they just never understand   

 

9. You have an eclectic taste in music

“How do you even know this song?”

“We did a combo to it in jazz 3 years ago”

 

10. You can throw a stitch in seconds

You’re practically a professional seamstress after all the pointe shoes and tutus you’ve sewn 

 

11. Nutcracker music plays in your nightmares

What did I do to deserve this, Tchaikovsky?

 

12. You find yourself watching hours of dance videos on YouTube

I have no idea how I found this six-year-old competition dancer from Nebraska, but she’s freakin’ incredible!

 

13. You follow countless dancer/company Instagram accounts

Most the time they bring a slight tear to your eye and give you a little FOMO because you know you’ll never perform again.  Other times you think to yourself, “Man, I do NOT miss staring at myself in a mirror for 8 hours a day wearing noting but spandex.” 

 

14. You relax and watch TV in the weirdest positions

You can’t help but sit in your frog or have your legs open in a straddle; it’s what comes natural to us now!

 

15. When you see performances, you sit in your chair and dance along with your hands and head

You can’t help but dance with the soloists.  I guess learning all those variations was worth it, you’re basically the understudy. 

 

16. You are hoarding boxes of your dance memorabilia in the back of your closet

I don’t care if there is no way I’ll ever put this leotard on again, or if the 60 pairs of dead pointe shoes are stinking up the place, I can’t part from them!   

 

17. Your dance friends will always be your best friends

These are true friendships that can never be broken.  Through all the blood, sweat, and tears, you guys have been there for each other time after time.  RIP to all your post-rehearsal Friday night sleepovers and waking up at the crack ass of dawn on Saturday morning for ballet class.      

West Virginia University. Alpha Phi. Grey's Anatomy over everything. I just really miss Harambe. "I fall in love with places I've never been and people I've never met."
I am originally from Westchester, New York. I came to WVU for my undergrad in Strategic Communications with an emphasis on Public Relations and a minor in Sports Communication. My involvment on campus includes blogging for Her Campus, a sister of Alpha Phi, the assistant director of the media team on the Mountaineer Maniacs executive board and lastly, an athletic communications intern with the WVU Athletic Communications office. I will be graduating in May of 2017 and I am looking forward to getting started with my future career in Journalism and Public Relations!