I came out to my mom when I was 18 years old
And, before my eyes, I saw her heart become ice cold.
She said she’d love me no matter what
But she won’t look at me the way she used to.
That was implied.
So I tried
And I cried
And I prayed to the God I was taught would love me
To change me
“Please, God, I’m here. I’m here on my knees.”
But he didn’t hear my pleas.
And I’m so naïve
That I can’t see what’s in front of me.
I knew my fate, deep down.
Because you see, according to Christianity, gays get hell.
It’s not that hard to tell
That I was raised in a religion that taught me to hate myself.
I believed I was safe because of the lies being drilled into my head.
Now my only relief is that tenth bong rip that lets me go to bed.
My mind is filled with thoughts of regret
Because I can’t go back and hit reset.
My mom, she tries to get on with her life
Because when I told her I knew since I was five
She said I broke her heart and she didn’t know how to survive.
I pled with her to love me and don’t let me go
But her mind was set and she let it show
That I wasn’t welcome in her home anymore.
It was 2017 and I thought I was safe.
It was MY MOM and I thought I was safe.
But I guess there are some things that trump unconditional love.
She was one of the two people who was supposed to love me unconditionally.
So I was confused when she told me I had to reject my homosexuality
For it was a sin.
And she didn’t know where to begin
When she started crying and screaming at me to STOP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
I saw fear in her eyes.
And I know she believes that this is my demise.
She lies awake at night
Thinking of how she can show me the light
Of a God who allows a parent to leave her own child.
I don’t know this God.
I don’t want to know this God.
There is a battle to be won
In the fight for equality.
And I want to be the last casualty
In this pointless war that claims the lives of our brothers and sisters.
So, Muslim, Catholic, Christian
Listen, listen, listen
And look into the eyes of your friend
And see how they glisten.
We are all human and we all deserve to have an epic love story.