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Sex + Relationships

Into the Eyes that Glisten

I came out to my mom when I was 18 years old

And, before my eyes, I saw her heart become ice cold.

She said she’d love me no matter what

But she won’t look at me the way she used to.

That was implied.

So I tried

And I cried

And I prayed to the God I was taught would love me

To change me

“Please, God, I’m here. I’m here on my knees.”

But he didn’t hear my pleas.

And I’m so naïve  

That I can’t see what’s in front of me.

I knew my fate, deep down.

Because you see, according to Christianity, gays get hell.

It’s not that hard to tell

That I was raised in a religion that taught me to hate myself.

I believed I was safe because of the lies being drilled into my head.

Now my only relief is that tenth bong rip that lets me go to bed.

My mind is filled with thoughts of regret

Because I can’t go back and hit reset.

My mom, she tries to get on with her life

Because when I told her I knew since I was five

She said I broke her heart and she didn’t know how to survive.

I pled with her to love me and don’t let me go

But her mind was set and she let it show

That I wasn’t welcome in her home anymore.

It was 2017 and I thought I was safe.

It was MY MOM and I thought I was safe.

But I guess there are some things that trump unconditional love.

She was one of the two people who was supposed to love me unconditionally.

So I was confused when she told me I had to reject my homosexuality

For it was a sin.

And she didn’t know where to begin

When she started crying and screaming at me to STOP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

I saw fear in her eyes.

And I know she believes that this is my demise.

She lies awake at night

Thinking of how she can show me the light

Of a God who allows a parent to leave her own child.

I don’t know this God.

I don’t want to know this God.

There is a battle to be won

In the fight for equality.

And I want to be the last casualty

In this pointless war that claims the lives of our brothers and sisters.

So, Muslim, Catholic, Christian

Listen, listen, listen

And look into the eyes of your friend

And see how they glisten.

We are all human and we all deserve to have an epic love story.

 

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