So, why ARE relationships always such a mess? I love them and I hate them. Now, I have had a lot of ‘relationships’ and I don’t mean boyfriends here (because boyfriends are a whole new game). I am talking people in your life that you are currently ‘involved’ with. This could be just texting (sexting maybe?), facebook chatting, skyping, maybe you are actually going on real dates or possibly it is strictly sexual (for now). This is probably the person you get in contact with if you are bored or needing some conversation (or satisfaction). I DON’T CARE what it is, but it is there.
I’m not here to tell you what to do or what to say to anyone but I do want to provide you with some tools to keep in mind when you are entering into a relationship because it is scary out there!
Number one: Schedules
I feel like this one is pretty obvious AND contributes to the success of any relationship. Simply, you have time for each other or not. If you are on a texting schedule or skyping schedule that works, hooray! But if your face time is limited because of obligations, it is going to get really hard really fast to maintain interest and loyalty to each other. (Besides! Getting blown off sucks super hard and I KNOW it has to feel pretty shitty to blow someone off!) Some people out there simply don’t have time to have flings! Which is fine if you are the type of person that can handle that (props, honestly because I couldn’t do that)!
Number two: Similarities
Notice this is number two and not number one. I believe that if you can chat with someone long enough you can find similarities. If you have reached that point where you don’t have a single thing in common or any potential to have similarities then you’re not meant to be. I also want to caution you about your connection. If you only have ONE (maybe two) things in common and that is IT then it is going to get really boring really fast. Every time you see each other you will be talking about the same two things and it’s really not intellectually stimulating. Even someone I’m not so serious about I still want to have some brains up there!
Number three: Commitment
When you are in someone’s house post-hookup and you see some stuff lying around that isn’t yours… and could be someone else’s… you might have good reason to bring up the commitment issue. I always have a hard time figuring out my other person’s level of dedication (but mostly because it’s really not ever there. Personal problem, I know.) To be fair, I’ve had my fair share of un-committed relationships that originate on my half, but when YOU are serious about something, make sure you aren’t the only one paddling the boat! (even if commitment is just to be monogamous with each other!) You don’t have to be labeled a ‘couple’ to be committed!
Of course there are more things that are involved in a relationship. From my own experiences I found that these three things are fairly important to at least begin something with someone. Maintaining something is different, being a couple is different, and dealing with anything else is just plain difficult. Keep your head on straight and think before you leap; someone could change your entire opinion on relationships and catch you off guard.
Until next time!
-Alyssa
Editor: Katelyn Kivel