The hazy, lazy days of summer are here! Tie for the pool, reading Cosmo and trashy teen novellas on the beach, and lots of BBQ! But it is not time to dress like a hobo or, worse, a skank. As Nelly eloquently stated in his 2002 summer hit, “It’s getting’ hot in here, so take off all your clothes.” Our loquacious friend is wrong however. I know it’s 96° outside, but you should not be wearing next to nothing. Here’s what not to wear when the mercury rises:
Sheer Tops. A lacy, gauzy, or other see-through top needs to be work over a tank or camisole. The music festival look is good only one place: music festivals. And maybe the beach. But I am tired of counting all the bras and bandeaus I can see prepubescent and postpubescent girls alike wearing under sheer tops at the mall. Bras and bandeaus are meant to go under your clothes. They are found in the “intimates” sections of stores, so they are, ahem, meant to be intimate. Ladies, cover up the girls.
Your Soccer Practice Outfit. Dear Reader, wear real person clothes. Whether you are strolling down a European boulevard or visiting nearby Civil War battle reenactment sites (yes, I’m into that), it is just as easy to wear a cute sundress or shorts and a fitted top as it is to don your Nike shorts and high school track team tee. Sincerely, the tourism industry.
Bandeaus are not shirts. End of discussion.
Cakes of Makeup. A pound of makeup will just melt in the heat and you will look like the Wicked Witch of the West after Dorothy tossed a bucket on the wretch. Not a good look. Go for a more natural, golden glow: tinted moisturizer, colored chapstick, a hint of bronzer, and some waterproof mascara. Voila!
White Underwear. This may come as a shock to you because wearing white undergamrnets under light-colored clothes may seem the obvious choice. However, one should wear beige or skin-colored skivvies under white, sheer, or light-colored clothing. You can always do the colored test: if you can see your colored underwear through the clothes, then you need to change your natural color. I highly recommend that anyone who has grown out of her Limited Too training bra invest in beige/nude strapless bra with convertible straps.
Bare Skin. Our moms having been telling us this for years: showing a little décolletage or the coy shoulder is sexy, but skin cancer is not. Your daily facial moisturizer (which you should be using year-round) should have the letters “SPF” on the bottle. If you are going to be outside for any length of time, remember to put on a generous amount of sunscreen with a minimum of SPF 30 and to reapply about every two hours. Try to cover up with sleeved shirts and cute sunhats (they’re so in right now!). Trust me, it’s cheaper to use up bottles of Banana Boat now then to pay for the repercussions later.
I hope these tips helped. Enjoy a fun and fashionable summer!