I am not the most religious person, but when I go to my place of worship, I would like to see a little bit of respect. If not for my sake, then at least for the grandma in the third pew or simply out of consideration that someone in the building wants some enlightening by getting in touch with God/Elohim/Allah/the Gingerbread Man/whatever it is someone believes in. Although it may seem un-Christian-like of me to judge people’s clothes in church, I find it rude not to show any honor for a place others hold sacred. I am not a prude, and I am not saying we all need to wear burkas or habits, but here is what definitely NOT to wear when going into any holy land:
Anything you would wear to the beach. I am tired of seeing flip-flops, Daisy Dukes, and a tank top, or your BF/brother/dad in swim trunks. I am all for doing whatever is most comfortable, but there is a difference between comfort and laziness. Also, if you can afford the bikini under your cami, I am sure you can afford a bra. Bathing suits are probably the biggest no. Luckily, as the mercury drops, this may become less of a problem (and, yes, I consider it to be a problem). So please, if you are dropping by to say a few “Hallelujahs” on your way to the pool, enjoy your day instead and reflect before bedtime what an awesome day you had and say thanks then. He will understand.
Anything you wear to bed. Pajamas? Really? ‘Nuff said.
Anything you wear to a club. I love sequins and feathers and glitter and short skirts and bandage dresses and patterned tights. Honestly. Ke$ha is my fashion idol in many ways. (You can quote me on that.) But there is a reason she wrote “Sleazy,” and I am positive that song is not about respecting the Sabbath. Anything short, anything see-through, excessive cleavage, hooker makeup, stilettos, etc., look awesome under strobe lights and while shacking your thang to LMFAO, but not so much when walking up the center aisle to get communion. Keep these staples for nighttime. I will tell you I love your outfit. No one will tell you that Sunday morning. Try not to look like a walk of shame who got lost and decided on her way back to the dorm to find Jesus. Take a shower. Then do some soul searching.
Anything you think Mom would disapprove of. Not the Goddess; your actual mother. Does it have a ketchup stain all down the front? Is it sweatpants? If you bend over, do you give everyone a more interesting thing to think about than the homily? Does your shirt say anything profane? Dressing, not just for Church but anytime in life, follows the same rules as our actions. Ask yourself, “If this were on the front page of The Flat Hat, would I be proud?” or “If I dressed like this to dinner with future in-laws, would I make a good impression?” I know these are harsh questions (and don’t worry about asking them Friday or Saturday nights!), but they cover everything, from what to wear on a daily basis to look decent to what to do to be a good person. And is that not the whole point of attending any place of worship?
Whatever you do, do not worry about me silently judging you in the corner. No matter what you are dressing for, always strive to put your best foot forward and dress the part. That definitely includes any church, synagogue, mosque, temple, or other place of worship. Amen.