Women today are more powerful than ever. But, for some reason, we still put up with being treated badly by men. When the people we love treat us poorly, we sometimes just accept it. I experienced this first hand and have recently learned many other women have too.
Last year, I was in an emotionally abusive and unhealthy relationship. I was dating a man I was miserable with. I stayed because I loved the person he used to be. I felt extremely lost, alone, and trapped. The person I once knew had changed and I settled because it seemed easiest.
My ex controlled my entire life: whom I was friends with, what I wore, where I went. I was not allowed to have any friends that were boys. I was not allowed to go out to parties. I was not allowed to wear clothing that he did not approve of and I was forced to drop the letters of my sorority because he did not like sororities. The list goes on and on. Even today, I find it difficult to make my own decisions because he always made them for me.
He made me feel completely worthless. I knew I would never be enough for him but I didn’t know what more I could do for him. I was his biggest fan and he was my worst. Everything was always my fault, never his. I was called names, yelled at, and told I was stupid numerous times. However, I always convinced myself it was stress or distance that was causing him to treat me this way.
He told me not to tell my friends or family because he did not want them to hate him. He knew he was hurting me. He knew he was treating me poorly but he still did it. To this day I still wonder why he did it. And more importantly, why did I allow it?
We did have a wonderful relationship, at first, and it was filled with brief happiness and some memories I will cherish forever. At its end, however, this relationship taught me an extremely valuable lesson: I deserve the very best. All women deserve the very best.
I stayed for so long, but now I am finally free and it feels great! I have learned to love myself again and be happy with who I am. My wonderful friends and family love me for me so why shouldn’t I? Letting go was the best decision I have ever made.