Whether you’ve been in a relationship for a month or two years, there are some warning signs you should know that will tell you your relationship is becoming unhealthy. Unlike the Chris Brown song “Say Goodbye” goes, there is a right time to say goodbye. The situation between you two doesn’t have to be as bad as it was between Chris and Rihanna for you to break up. Now, no relationship is perfect, but you deserve to feel happy and safe vast majority of the time. Here are some signs its time to break up:
- Fights become a regular thing—every couple is bound to have a few disagreements and even a few arguments. If you find yourself always expecting an argument, you need to reassess your relationship.
- Constant jealousy—We can all admit, our boyfriend being jealous of another guy having his eye on us is a tad flatter. There is, however, a limit to jealousy. If it gets to the point where your boyfriend wants to control who you talk to, what you wear, and where you go, there is a problem.
- Name calling/ bullying—Any derogatory names that make you feel inadequate are absolutely unacceptable. The only names he should call you should be along the lines of: “baby,” “sweetie,” and “honey.” Nothing less.
- Violence– this is when your relationship needs to end. It doesn’t matter if it was a little push– if you felt scared or hurt, there is no excuse for this. I am a firm believer that if, “he hits you once, he’ll hit you twice.” Do not let this be you, no matter how long you have been dating. Don’t be afraid to talk to friends, family, counselors, or even the police.
- Economic abuse– is another form of control not widely known. If a significant other limits you exploits your economic disadvantage in any way (not allowing you to get a job, using threats or force to obtain money, not allowing you to control your finances, etc). If you see any signs of this, beware.
It is important for all of us to know that not all abuse involves your partner hitting you. Abuse can come in the forms of emotional, financial, verbal as well as physical. If you need someone to talk to, there is confidential help at the Counseling center; “Appointments may be made by calling the Counseling Center at 757-221-3620 or by coming to the office in person. Office hours are 8 a.m. – noon and 1p.m. – 5p.m., Monday through Friday. Emergency services during the fall and spring semesters are also available after hours and on weekends by calling the Campus Police at 757-221-4596 and asking to speak with the Counseling Center ‘on-call’ counselor”