How does a house become a home, and can I have more than one?
We’ve all heard the famous saying, “A house is not a home,” and it sure felt that way during my first few weeks of college. When I first moved into my college dorm, everything felt off. Instead of feeling the excitement I saw in the movies or heard about from older classmates, I felt a sense of loneliness. Sure, I got along with my roommate, but it was nothing like living in a house with my family as I had for the last 18 years of my life. I worried about building connections here and starting over in finding my people. At first, the freedom of living away from home was not the glamorous picture that I’d envisioned all senior year.
It took a couple of weeks, but eventually, I grew to love my little dorm room and the life I’d begun building here in Madison. As I continued to add personality to my room, I was able to make it feel homier and more like my space. My roommate and I grew closer and I began to have other friends in town that now feel like my Madison family. Everything had fallen into place, and I couldn’t believe that there was a time at the beginning of the year when I was spending my days longing for my childhood home. That is until I visited my hometown for the first time.
I remember my first trip home like it was yesterday; the excitement of seeing my family, sleeping in my bed and snuggling my cat filled me to the brim. Once I arrived home, however, I noticed that something felt different. Not bad different, but the vibe was certainly one that I hadn’t felt when I lived at home. I suddenly was looking at my home through a different lens, going there as a visitor rather than a permanent resident. While it still felt great to be back, it also felt like a huge shift from what was once the only place I’d ever known as home. This feeling made me feel sad: did my old “home” just become my new “house”?
This phenomenon continued each time I went home and came back to Madison. I feel a strange little shift each time I visit, like I’m living a double life: how is it that there are two places I feel comfortable calling home? I’ve discovered that I love my home in my hometown, but the longer I’ve been in Madison, the more I’ve grown to love it here too. Up until college, I’d lived in the same town and the same house for the entirety of what I can remember, so the change to living in a new city away from my family has been strange. It’s as if I have a life in my hometown as well as a life here at school, and while I enjoy both tremendously, it feels a little odd at times.
Though it feels strange from time to time, I’ve come to realize that it’s possible to feel at home in multiple places, and I’m so grateful to have two places I now call home. The biggest takeaway from my freshman year of college is that a house truly isn’t a home until you feel comfortable there and establish connections with the people and city around you. I wish I could go back to the end of August and tell myself how incredible this year has been, and that it will eventually feel like home. As the school year wraps up, I’m actually sad to be packing up my tiny little dorm. It will be really interesting to see how the shift to living in my hometown for the summer will feel–it may be a little different, but that’s the beauty of being lucky enough to call two different places home.