Believe in whatever you want to
To get right to the point, the U.S. is a pretty religiously-oriented society. Proselytism is everywhere. Most of us can’t walk down State Street without encountering people who vow to save us from the “inevitable, tragic, fiery pits of hell” if only we “accept Jesus.” My intention is not to call out any religions or any practice of attracting new members to one’s religion (though I would like to point out that Pope Francis once said, “The Church is not a soccer team that goes around seeking fans.”) I’m simply acknowledging the state of the world we live in; it’s more common to identify as a believer of some kind of religion than not to. In fact, according to a religious census conducted by the Public Religion Research Institute, only 23% of Americans in 2020 identified as “religiously unaffiliated, agnostic, or atheist”. The other 77% of people accounted for in this census gave a specific religion and/or denomination in which they believe.
All of this is to say that, given the popularity of religion, it’s normal to feel a pressure to pick one to believe in or identify with. And lots of us do, which is great, but you don’t have to. I’ve always felt willing to empathize with and understand the core values of most religions, but it’s just too much to convince myself to believe in the rest of the “lore” that comes along with each religion. However, I admit that I’m no religious expert. It may be possible that you’re allowed to call yourself a member of some faith even if you don’t know or believe in the stories/mythology associated with that faith but, for the sake of the point I’m trying to make, I’m referring to religious affiliation as objective: you’re either religious or you’re not, you’re either all the way in or you’re not in it at all.
But just because you may not be able to fully get behind a story about, for example, a man and a woman and a beautiful garden and a talking snake, doesn’t mean you have to believe in nothing. In fact, you can believe in all kinds of stuff without being even a little bit religious. You can be spiritual.
One of the key distinctions between religion and spirituality is that the latter is characterized by belonging to an individual, rather than being shared by a community or institution. Simply put, spirituality is derived and practiced by you and you alone. Others may share your spiritual values and perspectives, but the whole idea is that you chose the things in which you believe.
I’d also like to add that many people are both religious and spiritual. They are separate and distinct ways of interpreting the world, meaning they may be practiced on their own or in tandem.
I encourage you to reflect on your unique understanding of the world and establish spiritual values of your own. Consider these values to be foundational truths; things that can act as anchors to keep you grounded.
Over the past several years, I’ve collected 5 core values that I think about often. I prefer not to share all of them, only because I think it’s a better practice for you to develop your own, but for the sake of being less vague I will divulge one:
I believe in inherent goodness.
Allow me to elaborate.
I think everyone’s natural instinct is to be good, and that evil is learned and may even be considered intentional. Given an opportunity to act with kindness or with cruelty (given no incentives, motives or external biases of any kind), it is my foundational belief that people will almost certainly choose kindness. I’ll give you some examples of how I apply this value into my life. I tend to expect that my boss will understand that I was stuck in traffic on my way to work rather than assume that I’ll be fired on the spot for coming in three minutes late. I usually anticipate that the people behind me in the check-out line will empathize as I find enough bills to cover my groceries instead of tapping their foot at me for taking a few seconds longer than credit card-users.
It feels better to believe that people will be sympathetic, compassionate and good than to feel pressure and anxiety that if I don’t conduct myself in a very specific way, people will be nasty, rude and evil.
You may consider this naively optimistic, but whether you agree with me or not is besides the point. My spiritual beliefs have emerged from my sole experiences, as yours should too. I encourage you to develop your own. Lean into your spiritual nature, let yourself explore new interpretations of the world. Construct a lens through which you see the world with beauty.
If you still have no idea what I’m talking about, I suggest you explore “Becoming Wise: An Inquiry into the Mystery and Art of Living” by Krista Tippett. It started as a book and has now also evolved into a podcast (available on most streaming services), in which Tippett interviews people on their personal journeys that have led to their perspectives on the intricacies of life.
Sources:
https://www.ideas.org.au/uploads/resources/550/What%20Is%20Spirituality.pdf
https://chopra.com/articles/religion-vs-spirituality-the-difference-between-them
https://www.happierhuman.com/difference-religion-spirituality/
Schneiders, Sandra Marie. “Religion vs. Spirituality: A Contemporary Conundrum.” Spiritus: A Journal of Christian Spirituality, vol. 3, no. 2, 2003, pp. 163–85, https://doi.org/10.1353/scs.2003.0040.