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Experiences

Why I believe I Have Never Been in a Relationship

Everyone has different reasons for not dating people. Here are mine.

For some strange reason, I have spent the last week thinking about why I have never dated anyone. Ever. Yup, that’s right, in my 19 years of life I have never been in a relationship. It may seem strange, and the reason I have always gone to is, “I’m not pretty enough.” However, I think deep down there are other reasons too. 

I am not saying this is all my fault, or all society’s fault, but I do believe there are some factors that have influenced both sides. 

1. I am way too insecure.

One fun trait about myself is that I am way too insecure. I care way too much about what other people think of me. And I do believe that I am not good enough, whether it be smart, skinny, or pretty enough. 

I often believe that many of my friends are in relationships when I am not because they are a lot prettier than me. However, I think that the real reason is that they are a lot more confident than I am. I’m way too scared to ever go up to guys I think are cute in public. I am also way too insecure to wear certain clothes, or do certain things. And I think that this insecurity radiates off of me in such a way that turns other people away, whereas if I was confident, it would do the opposite.

2. I am too scared.

I think deep down I am afraid. Maybe it’s because it seems like everyone on the planet has been in a relationship except me. Or maybe it’s because I know things like that would make me uncomfortable, and I don’t want to be uncomfortable if I don’t need to be. Nonetheless, I am afraid. Afraid of what might happen, what could happen. I think I’m also afraid of people judging me. Afraid of them judging me for dating a certain person, or doing certain things. And I let that rule over me. 

So instead of going out of my comfort zone and into the unknown, I choose to avoid it. What’s ironic is that I often tend to do things I’m afraid of, yet for some strange reason, this one sticks.

3. I get the ick way too easily.

I hate the word ick, but it gets the point across well. I think that in my entire lifespan, I have not liked someone longer than a week. This is because any minor weird thing someone does immediately makes me no longer like them. Now, I don’t think that this is because that person is actually doing something strange. I think it’s more so the fear of what would happen if they liked me back, and feeling like I’m too insecure for them. I think that these two things have combined into an ick that I can easily get. 

These are just a few of the reasons why I’ve never been in a relationship. I’m sure things like Covid, being in a college atmosphere and hating dating apps are all linked to it, too. But I do believe that my personal issues and fears take some responsibility for all of it.

Andrea Brehovska

Wisconsin '25

Hey! I am a psychology major with a digital studies and textile and designs certificate at the University of Wisconsin! I am originally from Prague, Czech Republic, but I grew up in the Bay Area, California! I love to travel, explore, and fashion. And my favorite colors are yellow and red!