I go to a school where the enrollment is 42,595. That is an insane amount of people, not to mention an insane amount of men. Of course, being a single girl, I’ve been on the lookout for some cuties around campus. I see attractive guys in a variety of locations: Gordon’s, College lib, the SAC, and walking out of Grainger in those sexy, sophisticated business suits. Basically, they’re everywhere. There’s always that temptation to drop my books or absent-mindedly bump into one of them to see if we’ll make eye contact and fall in love like they do in the movies… Just kidding I would never do that. BUT STILL, a girl can dream. From meeting several guys in my short nine weeks of being on campus, I have divided the majority of them into certain groups which definitely are not just stereotypes.
- The Classic D-bag “Bro”– Here we have the boys that live for parties, picking up chicks, and Creatine. They’re more into themselves than anything else in life. These are the guys you see posted up at parties waiting for ladies to flock to them or manning the keg. A conversation with this type of male will usually consist of him explaining his workouts, telling you how much he can bench, or some other form of self-flattery.
- The Mysterious Musician– I was a skeptic on this category before arriving on campus, but I am not a firm believer. These wandering souls exist in great numbers here. I actually got set up on a double date with one, and I must say he was such a gentleman and actually made intelligent conversation. Since I’m probably the least creative person in this city we literally had NOTHING in common. What a shame.
- The Big Headed Jock– Many of the athletes on our campus are pretty recognizable whether it be their size or the fact that they wear their red sweats and sport sweatshirts every other day. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve met some awesome boys who are Badger athletes, but some of them…smh. Is it really necessary to flex at your own reflection in a window while speaking to me?!?! Or to call yourself a big deal to people you’ve just met!? Some of these guys can also fit into the first category, but they also deserve one of their own.
- The Overly Friendly Neighbors– I’m sure many girls can relate to having at least one of these. They bring you medicine when you’re sick, ask you if you need help on your homework, barge into your room because they had no idea you just got out of the shower and that you wouldn’t be wearing clothes (mhm, right.)…They’re the boys who claim they’d love to watch Gossip Girl, PLL, or Grey’s with you, “but only if we get to cuddle ;)”. It’s flattering, really. But the persistence gets to be a liiiiittle too much.
- The Genuine, Nice Guys with Good Intentions and a Rockin’ Bod– OKAY maybe my expectations are a little high! But seriously, where are you and why do I not know you yet?!