Discovering My Writing Process
Being vulnerable feels embarrassing. I am not quick to open up to new people and even struggle to let my guard down with my inner circle. I’m naturally a talkative person, so I think people would be surprised by how much I tend to keep on the inside. I fear that my emotions are a burden to those around me. Yet, I find myself exposing myself through writing time and time again.
I know that my articles are being published for anyone to see. Speaking out my insecurities would at least allow me to control who hears them. Still, it’s easier for me to express my feelings in the privacy of my own room, just me and my laptop screen. This is part of the reason that practicing vulnerability feels less suffocating. I’m allowed the space I need, and I get to protect myself.
Yet, writing doesn’t allow me to hide. Writing demands to be read. Even when I’m completely alone, my feelings are being pushed into existence, out into the world for anyone to read. Writing has allowed me to be honest with myself in a way I didn’t expect. It empowers me to feel brave enough to strip it all back and practice vulnerability. I still get to experience it all privately, but it’s something I feel proud enough to share.
Writing has become my way of making sense of the world, untangling all the knots in my head onto the page. Seeing my feelings as tangible words feels validating, and the ease of moving my sentences around on a screen allows me to organize my thoughts in a way I can’t do while talking. As I’ve been discovering my writing process over the last few years, I’ve made it a point to center vulnerability. I often start with an insecurity or a fear that’s been festering in me. Then I attempt a rough outline. It’s not necessarily about limiting myself to a structure, but more about remembering to include the main points. I try to write whatever I’m working on all the way through, then cut, add, or rearrange at the end. This allows me to consider all my feelings without worrying about polishing. Sometimes I will start an article with a totally different idea in mind, and then my instincts kick in and carry me the rest of the way.
One of the reasons I joined Her Campus in the first place was to become a better writer. As I’ve become more emboldened to share about myself through my articles, I’ve found it’s helped me to improve other areas of my writing. Even when writing an academic essay, focusing on arguments I truly care about has helped me form more passionate and meaningful papers. As I continue to practice vulnerability, I’m excited to see how I can take my writing process and apply it to all elements of my life.