Am I the only person disappointed with B’s? I know for a fact that I’m not but I feel like I’ve been genetically programmed to never get a GPA below a 3.5
For many reasons, I think I strive for academic validation. There is no thrill compared to receiving a grade that you believe matches your efforts. Then again, nothing is worse than studying for an exam and doing poorly. I wish I were the type of person who could just say “better luck next time,” but I tend to get caught up in the negatives of doing poorly.
Thinking back to my childhood, I think my drive to get good grades stemmed from the TAG program at my school. TAG stands for talented and gifted. It was a selective program that excused you from class once a week to do fun projects rather than doing classwork. Ever since I was placed into this program, I feel as though I’ve always strived to stay at the talented and gifted level because of how validated it made me feel in my efforts. Evidently, my coursework has gotten harder than it was in fifth grade. I went from someone who was always at the top of the class to an average student. That was a blow to my ego for sure. I began to struggle in school, which makes me think of the term “gifted kid burnout” because that’s exactly how I feel. I had never needed to study or ask for help and that instilled in me a fear that asking for help means that I’m stupid.
In high school, I had reached my low point. Chemistry. I didn’t understand anything, but I refused to ask for help because I was unable to ask for help. I tanked almost every test and finished the class with a C. Now as someone who had never gotten below a B, you can imagine my dismay. I was devastated. I was sent into a downward spiral, because I thought that I was no longer good enough; I lost the validation I craved so much. I thought I would never get into UW-Madison now. Obviously, one C didn’t affect the rest of my life. I got into college and I am thriving. here.
I think the reason I refer to this need as unrealistic is because the chances of never getting a C again are very slim. It is human to make mistakes and although I have gotten better at asking for help it is still a mental obstacle I need to get over. I hope that with reading this article you can see that you’re not alone in this struggle. You are so much more than the grades you get in school.