Don’t tell my mom.
It’s 7 am on a Tuesday morning and my alarm is going off, beckoning me to get out the door for a literature discussion. My throat is scratchy and my sinuses are stuffed; unfortunately, I’ve caught the head cold that’s been going around campus. I decide more rest is in my best favor, and turn off the classic iPhone “radar” noise to fall back asleep.
I won’t sell myself short, I did contemplate the decision for a moment. It’s not very ‘on-brand’ of me to skip class, especially only two weeks into the semester. Usually, I suffer through the fatigue and illness, determining that missing class would be more work for me in the long run. The “absent” tick I’d get from my TA in the gradebook typically wouldn’t be appealing to me either.
Freshman me would’ve pushed myself to get up, and I would’ve walked around campus all day resembling a miserable-looking zombie. Senior me decided that the day seemed like too much to handle with a clogged nose. I was just so exhausted from the amount of stimulation my brain and body had been enduring over the first few weeks of classes.
It could be argued that I’m just getting lazy. Perhaps senioritis has sunk in too early. Maybe I’ve just gotten wiser, and I now know that missing one discussion session will not entirely dock my grade. However, I think I’ve just grown to realize how important it is to take care of myself on the days when things just aren’t going so great.
This year has been tough. I’ve had to transition from sitting in my PJ’s doing lectures from my bed all day, back to having to be actively engaged in-person. I also forgot how much time and effort walking (or briskly jogging) between buildings is. Though, I think the most surprising factor adding to my exhaustion this semester is the amount of social interaction that has increased since the earlier pandemic days. Before the pandemic, I didn’t realize how much energy actually goes into interacting with people. Remembering names and faces, and no longer being alone with my computer all day were tough things to relearn. It’s a lot to take in full force, all at once.
I think the biggest thing is that this transition from in-person classes to online (and back to in-person) has taught me how to recognize the needs of both my body and my mind. I used to just go ahead and do all of the things, no matter how mentally and physically draining they became, ultimately burning myself out early and feeling that way throughout the entire semester.
I’ve realized I need to stop treating so-called “self-care” days as if they should only exist when I’ve earned them. I shouldn’t get into the habit of taking one when my very last penny is spent, resulting in me needing three full days to recover. Instead, I’ve decided recuperating some of that energy when I need it at the moment is a much better use of my time. Allowing myself time to sleep in on that day I was feeling tired, sick and hopeless made me feel fresh and energized for the entirety of the week. There’s a fine line between working hard and taking too much time off, but I’m glad I’ve finally discovered my healthy balance. Maybe my thoughts can encourage you to find yours too.