Sharing my best tips and tricks for how I work my way through a bad body image day
Body image is a topic that should not be taken lightly. The way you look at and speak to yourself can impact many of your thoughts, perhaps even consuming them. When you reach a place where your worth seems to be determined by the way you look, it can seem impossible to shift that mindset and I don’t blame you. In fact, in a judgmental world where our appearance is treated as the most interesting and important thing about us, it makes perfect sense that we become overly fixated on our appearance.
When we realize this is reality, how can we still live in it happily? How can we cope on the hard days to pull ourselves out of a downward spiral of negative self-talk? What (or who) can offer some comfort in distressing times? Let’s have a little chit-chat about things I’ve put into practice to get through tough days. Hopefully my advice can help you, too.
Focus on what you can control
It can be easy to ruminate on diet culture’s principles and the many other flaws in our society. However, there are still plenty of ways to stay positive which in turn impacts the way we view ourselves. The piece of advice that provides me the most comfort is to stay focused on what I can control. Doing so helps me keep my priorities in perspective and treat myself with kindness as I take a moment to breathe. Sometimes I become so consumed by anxiety-ridden thoughts about what others think of me, if they like me, if they think I’m pretty, weird, fun, annoying, etc. Ultimately, I know that I can bring my thoughts back to a rational place if I focus on myself and what I can control.
Put on baggy sweats
Putting on baggy clothes is a wonderful way to overcome a hard day. You can’t go wrong with a good ol’ thrifted sweatshirt from the men’s section of St. Vinny’s and a stretchy pair of gray sweatpants. Not only are sweats insanely comfortable, but they make it a lot harder to stand in front of a mirror for half an hour picking apart your body. Personally, I make an effort to stay away from mirrors as much as possible on bad body image days. However, this can be difficult because we have to do things such as use the bathroom. When I can, I’ll keep the light off so that I can’t see myself if I decide to sneak a peek (fight the urge).
Eat regularly throughout the day
Try your absolute best not to restrict food. I know how hard that can be on a bad body image day, but food is something we need for sustainability and survival. Falling into a pit of restriction can hurt our bodies pretty bad. My rule of thumb is three meals and three snacks a day, but just doing your best to eat regularly (every 2-3 hours or so) is a great way to stay on the right track.
Speak kindly to your Body without Focusing on appearance
I speak to my body nicely and thank it for all it can do rather than what I like about the way it looks. For example, my body allows me to maintain a job as physically demanding as waitressing. My body allows me to lift weights at the gym and keep my muscles strong. My body keeps me energized when I feed it. I am grateful to have two working arms, two working feet, ten fingers and ten toes. I am grateful to have a nose that can smell, ears that can hear and eyes that can see. When I reflect on all of the blessings in my life because of my body’s abilities, I am feeding my mind positivity without emphasizing appearance.
Speak kindly to your character
After speaking kindly to my body, I speak kindly to my character. I reflect on what attributes make me who I am and why I am proud of them. For example, I am empathetic because I value understanding the perspectives of those around me. I am passionate about mental health and want to advocate for others who have struggled as well. I try my best to remain open-minded because I only know the life that I have lived and not the lives of others. I like that I can be silly, goofy, uplifting and I think that those around me value these attributes as well. Additionally, it is important to understand that these practices are NOT vain or selfish. You are allowed to appreciate who you are, and you should. So often it seems that we’ve been conditioned to dislike and be overly hard on ourselves. Why? What good does this do for anyone? It creates damaged people who create a damaged society. So, speak kindly to yourself; you and those around you will be better off because of it!
Healthy distractions
A helpful coping mechanism is implementing healthy distractions — something that will take your mind off of intrusive thoughts so strong that you might soon act in a harmful way to yourself. They are called healthy distractions because your thoughts must eventually be revisited so that you can process and work through them. I suggest doing this with somebody you trust such as your therapist, a parent, or a close friend. Revisitation of the thoughts should be done at a later time (e.g. 30 minutes later) when your mind is back in a rational and stable state. Examples of healthy distractions that I have used are: taking a 20 minute drive while listening to uplifting music, calling a loved one, going on a walk, journaling my feelings, or painting outside with water colors. Healthy distractions can be your ticket out of a crisis-like situation.
Take a shower
There is a very simple and well-known thing you can do to feel better — take a shower. I’m not exactly sure why, but showering works wonders for me on an off-day. I feel less stressed, groggy, stuck and more determined, positive and awake. In fact, sometimes I end up doing the whole routine — shaving, exfoliating and moisturizing — if I’m really feeling it.
Stay off social media!
Lastly — and perhaps most importantly — STAY OFF SOCIAL MEDIA. If you feel the urge to scroll through Instagram, pick up a good book or turn on a cute Disney movie instead. Social media can be a toxic and harmful place that capitalizes off of your insecurities, especially when you are in a vulnerable headspace. It is truly the last place you should go. I like to silence my notifications for all social media on bad body image days, but that’s not always enough. It has become muscle memory to open apps on my homescreen even when I don’t want to. Therefore, I’ll pile my social media apps into a folder so they’re harder to access. This gives my mind enough time to stop and think before opening Instagram or TikTok.
There are plenty of healthy ways to cope on a bad body image day. Although it is easier said than done when you’re stuck in a negative place, utilizing my advice can help you take back control of your mind and day.