This is your sign to stop being your own worst critic
At a time when we’re all transitioning into adjusting back into the school routine away from our families, it’s easy to give in to the little voice in our head of unworthiness. The feelings that we are not doing enough — not studying hard enough, not being productive enough, social enough — seem to never end. If we had the choice to spend time with someone who criticized us as much as we criticize ourselves, we probably wouldn’t spend more than an hour with them. The truth is, every other relationship you hold is impermanent except for the relationship you have with yourself, so if we don’t start treating ourselves kinder, we won’t be living very fulfilling lives.
I struggled with this concept for years. I was convinced that every single one of my flaws meant something was inherently wrong with me and that my imperfections were never-ending. The pandemic gave me a lot of time to be alone with my thoughts with no distractions from my unhappiness. I’ve worked hard to heal and while there’s no definitive ending to this process, I’ve learned a lot throughout my journey. These are some of the ways I have learned to cope with these feelings and be kinder to myself.
1. Thought suppression/challenging
Our thought patterns govern our perceptions and beliefs about ourselves. More times than not, they bring us down, so to combat this, you can either push those thoughts away if you notice them or continuously ask yourself “why do I think that?”
2. Affirmations
Affirmations are a great way to replace negative thoughts with encouraging ones. I’ve found these make a huge difference in how I see myself. Every day for at least a month I have told myself various affirmations in the morning and the confidence I’ve gained has been very noticeable.
3. Spending Time Alone
it’s vital that you take the time to be alone with your thoughts in order to feel comfortable in your own skin. This can help you discover your hobbies and how you like to spend your time. It can even help to take yourself on dates. Knowing what you truly enjoy will help you build better relationships with friends and partners.
4. Introspection
Journaling and meditation have been really helpful for my mental health. I’ve learned a lot about myself on a deeper level by writing down my thoughts. It’s also helped me to better accommodate my own needs.
5. Romanticize Everything
I don’t care what anyone else says, you are the main character. Take pictures of everything, make everything you do feel like you’re in a movie, seek out beautiful experiences and live out the aesthetics of your dreams.
6. Morning/Night Routine
Routines are so helpful for starting and ending each day on a good note. They can be as simple or complicated as you want and everyone has their own preferences, but my morning routine consists of drinking a glass of water, making my bed, lighting some incense, stretching and saying my affirmations to my mirror. My nightly routine is meditating for at least five to ten minutes, tidying up my desk and writing down five things I’m grateful for or things that went well in my day.
Our society values community and partnership, which can be good to an extent, but I think we are seriously lacking in knowledge on how to have a better relationship with ourselves. Hopefully, these tips can give you a place to start and you can find out what works for you. With consistent habits, I think anyone can learn to heal themselves and be content alone. You are worthy of everything you desire and you deserve to be happy, so start treating yourself accordingly.