It has come to the point where Netflix is more than just a website on the internet. It is now a way of life. We will soon reach a point where “binge Netflixing” will become a more common hobby than binge drinking.
The online streaming service has become a huge part of our adult lives, mostly consisting of straight-to-DVD movies and canceled televisions shows. But now, Netflix is growing at a very rapid rate and it is becoming harder and harder to find a movie or TV show that isn’t on Netflix. In fact, Netflix has expanded so much and to all demographics that it has gotten to the point where you can relive your entire childhood through Netflix! From the boring eight-hour school days to the fun-filled weekend, Netflix has all you need!
First, let us start with the long elementary school day. School might have been the most difficult at this point in your life because you didn’t yet understand the concept of “getting by.” You diligently did your homework and paid attention in class every day because that’s what you were supposed to do. You were sick of it.
But then, in walks the teacher and she is not alone. She has one of those magical carts with a pretty little television on top. That cart meant one thing and one thing only, a movie! She pops the tape into the VCR and low and behold, it’s The Magic School Bus! Then you and your friend look at each other like:
Your tortuous day of practicing cursive has been interrupted by animated fun disguised as an educational video. Rejoice!
You are now done with school, and your mother picks you up and asks you how your day was. You say, “fine.” Did you learn anything? “No.” You refuse to give detailed answers because you are excited for that after-school snack! You eat your snack, do your homework (because you were told to do it when you got home), and plop yourself right in front of the television. It’s four o’clock, and you are just in time for…
ARTHUR! Everyone’s favorite Aardvark and everyone’s favorite after-school show! Unfortunately, Zoboomafoo and Zoom, other PBS after-school classics, still aren’t on Netflix, but I am sure they are working on it.
After your animated television marathon, your mother calls you for dinner. Your eyes rest from the television as you eat something you most likely didn’t enjoy because it had green chunks in it that you didn’t trust. You finish, and are about to make a dash back to your spot in front of the television because it is too dark to go play outside when you mother reminds you that you should study for your spelling test that you have tomorrow. So, respecting your mother, you decide to study. So…
You rely on your trustworthy fellow speller Akeelah as she sounds out and spells “pulchritude,” even though, in reality, the hardest word on your test is “different.”
So, you repeat the process five more times and are finally done with school for the week! You wake up early Saturday morning, because as a child you don’t feel sleep is a necessity, and where do you find yourself? In front of the TV of course! There is only one show that, as a child, you should have watched on a Saturday morning.
The most recent, and probably best, show added to Netflix is the Saturday morning classic, Pokemon. If you weren’t watching this every Saturday morning with your deck of Pokemon cards in hand, I’m very sorry. You were doing it wrong.
It’s the middle of Saturday, around noon, when nothing is good on TV. So, now you must resort to flipping through the channels until you spot something you recognize. You are flipping and flipping until BAM! You see the most familiar face in all of fake fast food, and he asks you the most iconic of questions.
Ed is one of the great Nickelodeon characters of all time and Good Burger is a classic for those growing up in the 90’s. It never gets old, even as you surpass twenty years old (I know form experience).
Now, your weekend is passing and you are watching various cartoons. Ed, Edd, and Eddy, Goosebumps until your mother comes in and tells you to turn it off, Powerpuff Girls, and maybe even a little bit of the classic Recess. The weekend is flying by and eventually you find yourself at 7 PM on a Sunday night, knowing school is only hours away from returning. Thankfully, there is one last thing to look forward to on the television before you go to bed at your regular school-night time, The Wonderful World of Disney! And it’s your favorite Disney movie, Hercules, resulting in you and your family to react like this:
The featured Disney movie on Sunday night was everything and the only thing we looked forward to as a kid, and Netflix has really stepped up their game. They’ve added Disney classics from Mulan to Pocahontas to Lilo & Stich, and many many more! They even have Rock-a-Doodle (bonus points if you remember that one)!
You and your family watch the classic Disney film together, off to bed you go, and the never-ending cycle of television and school continues.
So, there you have it, a summation of your typical week as an elementary child all told through your Netflix account. You will be able to find all these shows and movies and many more on your Netflix instant stream! Don’t feel bad about binge Netflixing in order to relive your childhood, we have all done it, and all understand.
Now, here is to hoping that Netflix brings back Drake and Josh and adds That’s So Raven so we can relive our young teenage lives too!