Casual love is something our generation is crazy about. And now that we are in college we are thrown into a community with a majority of free-spirited, careless, selfish, single and new adults, just like us. In this day in age, a vast majority of college students are simply not looking for anything serious.
The hookup lifestyle is huge and generally accepted amongst most. You see it promoted every where, especially in the media and entertainment we indulge in. A popular example is the movie That Awkard Moment, starring Zac Efron. Not only does it show some steamy shots of him and costars, Miles Teller and Michael B. Jordan, but it also discusses the new dating norm, known as hooking up, and introduces what they call the “Hookup Roster.”
This roster is what it sounds like. It’s a list, or a lineup, of significant others that are options for you to hookup with. As far-fetched as it may seem, many of us partaking in this dating style use one, whether conscious of it or not, and there are some perks to it.
The problem with the example shown in That Awkward Moment is that it’s all about a guy’s perspective and really has no set boundaries for the roster. Have no fear! If you’re looking for a way to really organize and find some rhyme or reason to your hookup habits, follow these quick tips on having a successful hookup roster from a girl’s perspective.
Know What You Want
The first thing to think about before adding to your roster is making sure you know what you want out of the casual sex life. Do you want a one-time thing? Something that’s on a regular basis? Friends with benefits? Or maybe leading up to something more serious? Whatever you choose, make sure you’ve put a lot of thought into it and are 100 percent on your decision before making the decision to hook up.
Consent: Physical as well as Intentions
The next thing to add into the mix is making sure you have a general consensus with each partner of what both of you want. Before adding another player to the roster, make it clear what you’re looking for in the hookup, and make sure you guys have a mutual understanding. Less confusion can save a lot of time and pain. If they don’t seem like they’re on the same page as you, it might not be a good idea to jump in bed with them.
This type of consent doesn’t necessarily need to happen before you hookup with someone (like the other one NEEDS to). After a hookup occurs is usually the time when you can accurately determine where you want things to go. Try and have a conversation about what it means and figure out if they are quality enough to add to the roster.
The Perfect Recipe
A nice thing to do with your “hunk roster” is to get a little variety. There’s a few types you should make sure you have amongst your list.
A) Reliable: to make sure you’re never left disappointed.
B) Bad boy: to always keep you on your toes.
C) Intimate: to feed all your romantic needs.
Having these three types lined up will make sure your roster is keeping you happy! Finding your own type of guy is extremely important too, but these are good starters. Variety is important, too, so you never get bored, and you can always pull from whatever shelf you’re feeling that day.
Attention Grabber
One last thing in keeping a successful casual love life going is knowing how to interact with them outside of the bedroom, or how to get their attention.
Some guys are into a challenge and like the hard-to-get game. A really convincing way to do this is by never being the first one to text or Snapchat. Don’t initiate anything to show them that you could do without them.
Other guys are into a powerful woman. Calling the shots, planning evenings together, and getting a little bossy are all great ways to feed into these types.
It’s the difference between sending that sexy Snapchat or waiting for him to reach out to you, and there really isn’t a nice grey area between the two unfortunately. A good way to figure out which attention-grabber you’re better at is just by experimenting. Try both out on different guys and see where it takes you. Then when you find out which one suits you best. Use it to carefully select who makes it on your roster and who doesn’t.
Hope these help you steam some things up or start leading a more satisfying sex life. And just remember: no matter which dating lifestyle you’re into, the most important thing to consider is your own happiness!