How to Get Low-Key Drunk at Your Family Holiday Party

Once again, it’s finally that wonderful time of year filled with comfy sweaters, gift-giving, seasonal drinks, and lots of holiday parties.  And while many of those festivities are likely to be filled with merriment, sometimes a family get-together can be a bit more on the stressful side.

But since the holidays are meant to be filled with rosy cheeks and fun, we think the fastest path to jolly cheer is, of course, booze. 

When it comes to family events, this can be a bit tricky.  It can be difficult to convince your Great Aunt Suzy to do a snorkel with you, so here’s some advice on how to get low-key drunk during the holidays. 

Choose a strategic drink

If you’re anything like us, the key to a pleasant trip down Drunk Lane is the right drink.  Everyone has different tastes, but in order to avoid the judgmental eyes of your sweet grandma, try and stick with something a little less ostentatious than your usual seven beers or straight shots of rail whiskey.  

Splash a bit of vodka into your cranberry juice (festive!) or whiskey into your coffee (only drinking after 4PM does not apply during the holidays).

Oh, and always, always accept that glass of wine at dinner.

Get your relatives in on it

Let’s face it, getting drunk with the fam is great, and there’s no better time to get sloshed together than around the Christmas tree.  Grab your favorite cousins, siblings, aunts, uncles, etc. (basically whoever is willing) and bond over the merriment of inebriation. 

Feel free to swap stories from college.  You’ll be surprised by some of the trouble your Aunt Kathy got in back in the day. 

Make a game of it

Once you have the proper crew together, make a simple drinking game to get you all through the night.  Count the amount of times Uncle Dan gets up for more latkes and equivocate each to a drink, or take a drink every time one of you gets asked why you aren’t dating yet. 

Make sure you’ve agreed on the rules and have someone write them in a phone.  If you really want to be low-key, you can use a code word to signal when someone has to drink. Because, you know, yelling “peppermint sticks” at your older brother because he took off his Santa hat doesn’t seem weird or suspicious at all. 

Eat plenty of food

Drinking on an empty stomach can be dangerous, so make sure to stock up on your favorite holiday treats.   Really, drinking just gives you an excuse to eat more, so go get that second helping of potatoes. 

Alcohol gives the gift of hearty carbs.

Don’t overdo it

The key to getting low-key drunk is keeping it low-key.  Remember that this is a time to enjoy family and friends, so actually enjoy them.  Sure, booze can boost the fun factor, but don’t get too sloppy.  Think of your loving grandma.  Think of your disappointed parents.  Okay okay, have one more drink.

The holidays are a time of gaiety and love, so have fun, be safe, and get your buzz on.