It’s been the longest week of your life. You’ve been running around campus. Your phone never seems to stop blowing up — if it’s not classes, it’s your internship. And if it’s not your internship, it’s your student organization. You wore the wrong shoes so now your heels are developing blisters, and on top of it all, you can’t recall the last time you ate a fresh vegetable — two Sundays ago? Maybe? Then, you look at your over-scheduled planner and realize it’s only Tuesday…
Look, I’ve been there, my roommate has been there, heck, that girl who just served you your triple, nonfat, caramel latte has been there. But take a deep, deep breath, because you need to remind yourself that it’s all going to be okay.
It is insanely hard to be a motivated female in college. If you’re anything like me and the ladies I know, you’re striving to prove yourself in every way you can. You most likely have a hard time saying no to responsibilities and opportunities, regardless of how busy you are, and you probably are trying to juggle social and family relationships on top of it all.
I’ve had my fair share of crazy semesters. During my sophomore year, there were times I let my stress drive me to unhealthy mindsets. I was lucky to have a solid friend or two who were great at talking me out of some of my spirals. But, at a certain point, it became necessary that I learned how to do that for myself as well. Now, as a senior, I’ve learned how to juggle so, so much better. Here are the tips that work well for me when I’m finding the stress is piling too high…
1. Organize!
Buy yourself a planner that you adore. I am very picky about my planners; my planner is my baby. I know that I need full calendars, as well as space for weeks to be broken down day-by-day. Room for lists is a bonus, and areas where I can jot ideas is a must. I got my planner at Target. It’s cute, and it keeps me together. Whether you’re a digital calendar person, like to see things written out on paper, or you use every calendar possible — like me — figure out what works for you and do it thoroughly. This is a habit that takes time but is so worth it. Force yourself to write down everything, even things you think you’ll never forget, so you get in the habit of using it always.
2. Prioritize!
Not everything on that to-do list needs to be done right at this moment, I promise. So take another sticky note out and make a second list (and a third and a fourth if necessary!) Start with things that need to be done right now. Then check your planner, see when you’ll have time to get the next list done.
Set aside specific times for you to respond to emails. If you read something on your phone and can’t respond to it instantly, flag it so when you check later you’re reminded to answer.
3. Thank Yourself!
Do not try the tactics of “I’m not letting myself eat until I finish everything on this list,” or anything similar, because I guarantee the quality of your work will diminish, and you’ll feel as if you’re punishing yourself. You are knocking things off that to-do list — reward yourself! Buy yourself a coffee before you head to your study space. Bring along your favorite snack. Wear your comfiest sweater. Whatever you do, do not make a habit out of punishing yourself when you go to get stuff done, or you’ll dread your long days even more.
4. Communicate!
As I mentioned earlier, everyone around you is crazy busy. No one will understand your stress like your fellow college students. So, when your phone is blowing up and you feel like you’re going to go crazy if one more group partner asks you another question, take a moment and chill. If someone from an org reaches out to you and needs help, but you’re currently working hard on a class paper that’s due in an hour, text them back quickly and tell them!
Simply say something like, “Hey, I’m finishing an assignment and then I’ll be happy to help you out! If I don’t respond in three hours, please send me a reminder text.”
Just check your planner and see when you’ll be available next to help this person out! I’ve found giving people a timeline of when you’ll have some time will calm both of you down immensely. You don’t have to feel guilty about not being available for everyone at once, and whoever else is needing your help won’t get frustrated feeling like you’re ignoring them or not putting in your opinion. A small update can go a long way when it comes to group work.
5. Love!
In some of my worst college times, I found it so easy to feel like no one else could possibly understand the stress I was going through. Removed from the situation now, it’s clear everyone else in my entire university is dealing with their own sets of responsibilities, obstacles and pressures. I think one of the easiest ways to feel better when I’m super stressed is to attempt to be as kind as possible and outpour as much love as possible to others.
For me, this is my toughest tip to personally follow. As I said, if I’m stressed, I’m really good at shutting others out and retreating into myself. As good as quiet, alone time can be, the best way for me to look at everything from a new point-of-view is just to have a normal conversation with someone I love. Compliment a classmate, encourage a friend, call your mom and ask her how your dog is doing, take an hour to cuddle with your significant other and just be hugged. This truly doesn’t have to be anything huge, but knowing that you’re not allowing your stress to bring down everyone else around you will ultimately make your stress seem much less significant. This, I promise.
Learning the secrets to balance now is only going to help you in the future. I hope these tips can help you feel sane for the rest of this semester. Remember that no matter what you’re going through, others are feeling it too, so stay kind, stay thoughtful, and keep slaying out there, ladies!