It’s easy to want to crawl into a dark corner and hide for a very long time after failing a test, messing up a speech, or being dumped. However, in these situations, you can find peace surprisingly quickly by changing your mindset and actions.
In the words of the wise Big Sean, here are the steps I take to bounce back from an “L”:
1. Practice Gratitude
As much as gazing at that 50% written on the top of your test may make you feel like it’s the end of the world, the Earth is, in fact, continuing to revolve around the Sun— you are still alive! As silly as this technique may sound, I frequently remind myself in stressful situations that I am still alive even if I do take an “L,” which is a very beautiful thing. Whether you’re risking failure or have already failed, the more you practice gratitude for life, the easier it is to recover from your tribulations. Before I walk into a big test, I always think, “What’s the worst thing that could happen?” My response is almost always, “I fail—I get a 0%,” which is although highly unlikely, possible. As counterintuitive as it may sound, this thought reassures me every single because, in the grand scheme of things, a 0% on a test really does not matter. I still have two hands, two feet, and am breathing in air from this miracle of a world. I have hope for the future, for which I am extremely grateful.
2. Treat Yourself
Indulging yourself in a little rest and relaxation is a great way to bounce back from a difficult situation. Being kind to yourself can help boost your mood and, in turn, your confidence. Go get a massage or splurge on fancy chocolate from Whole Foods. To help promote wellness and reduce stress, try some new fun workouts like spinning, yoga, and Pilates.
3. Embrace Companionship
As easy as it is to isolate yourself when you’re down, opening yourself up to those who love you can help you recover from your “L”. Confide in your parents, siblings, or your best friend—they’re your support system. They can help put things in perspective, as what we perceive as a huge failure is often way less of deal to someone else.
4. Forgive
Forgiveness is the best way to bounce back from an adverse situation. Forgive yourself for your mess-up, whether the whole school, or just you, knows about it. If you’re down on yourself because a boy broke your heart, forgive him for doing it— the relationship was broken, not you. You must forgive yourself before you can continue to radiate the light you were born to shine.
5. Learn and Grow
As much as it sucks to undergo a huge “L,” it can be an opportunity for learning and growth. As cliché as it may sound, we all learn from our mistakes; and sometimes the worse our perceived misfortunes are, the more we take away from them in the long run. When you find the man or woman of your dreams, you’ll realize why the relationship you were so heartbroken about ended. Failing a big test might cause you to change your major to something you really love. Every experience, good or bad, can be learned from. And this, precisely, is what makes us bigger, stronger, better people.
Next time you find yourself fleeing to your bed with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s after taking an “L,” follow these five steps to pull yourself out of the darkness and bounce back.