Ah… the holidays. What a jolly season— food, family, friends— you name it. But let’s not forget the good ole saying, “nothing worth having comes easy”. For some of you, going home might just be a matter of an hour or two, but the rest of us just aren’t as lucky. Believe me, I’m not just some self-proclaimed pundit on the subject. I have been on many, MANY, long travels in the past four years. And when I say that, I don’t mean just a “long” 5-hour flight, I’m talking about 25 17-hour dreadful flights to the other side of the world.
Stage 1: J-chilling
Well, I prefer the term “you don’t know what you signed up for” phase. You got your tickets, went through TSA, well the most stressful part is done isn’t it? (NO!!!) Go ahead, go buy those magazines, pig out on that massive variety of airport food… you won’t be able to enjoy yourself for long.
Stage 2: Excitement
This is just a continuation of the “you don’t know what you signed up for” phase. You’re now sitting on your plane seat, exploring your TV/ movie options, nosing around trying to figure out what your meal options are for the next 17 hours, cuddling up with the “comfy” airplane seat and most importantly, thinking about how excited you are to see your family.
Stage 3: Fatigue
Now you’re listening to the flight attendants going through the safety guidelines you can practically recite word-for-word. Then you’re listening to the captain introduce himself and the destination. But of course, he’s just sugar coating things, because you KNOW that the announcement always ends up with him apologizing for how it’s going to take another 40 minutes before the plane takes off… Before you know it, your eyes are closed and you’re not listening anymore. Seriously, who needs melatonin when you’ve got all of this?
Stage 4: Boredom
Now you’re up from your nap, you’re finally starting to realize how long it will actually take for you to get home. Somehow, you’re still a harmless and peaceful creature. But now you’re starting to doze off, because you realize that there is actually nothing you could do.
Stage 5: Anxiety
Woah… a bad turbulence. Now you are calculating all the odds with your non-existent mathematical genes, you’re contemplating about life choices and you’re praying… but you know all of it is just paranoia.
Stage 6: Denial
Or as I call it, introduction to “what the heck did I sign up for” phase. You’re trying to convince yourself that it is not going to be that bad. You’re going to make a list of things you think you can do. You’re going to try to plan out your remaining 15 hours wisely, but deep down you know it’s not going to work out.
Stage 7: Anger
Now you’re hungry, your skin is dry, your hearing’s muffled, your back is starting to hurt, you’re just realizing that you don’t like too many of the TV shows/ movies that they have on that tiny screen, the baby sitting next to you is crying. Every thing is just aggravating and before you know it, you’ve gone mad.
Stage 8: Sadness
Just that. Just cry, because you’ve exhausted all of your emotions.
Stage 9: Acceptance
You realize that there’s nothing you can do about it. So you start actually looking for TV shows you like. Before you know it, you have already started a season of America’s Next Top Model. Or maybe you’re writing letters and drawing— whatever floats your boat. The point is, the world is peaceful, once again.
Stage 10: Frustration
The clock is ticking. 2 hours, 1 hour… you’re so excited, you just can’t wait to get out of that suffocating cabin. But then you realize that the finale of the TV show of your choice is going to cut off by your arrival, and now you’re frustrated.
Stage 11: Relief
Screw everything, YOU’RE HOME! At this point, it is just more of a relief than it is an excitement. You can finally get out of this limiting seat. You just can’t wait for the seatbelt sign to go off!
Stage 12: Happiness
You’re waiting for your luggage, you’re 10 steps away from seeing those smiling faces. Or maybe you’re just thinking about your dog, or all the food there is waiting for you at home, whatever.
Stage 13: Fatigue (…again)
Just kidding, you’re not done yet, there’s a 14-hour time difference. Happy sleeping slash preparing yourself for a week of being tortured by jet-lag.
Here it is! Whoops, sorry! You may or may not have just lost all your complaining rights.