Little do we realize that the ever so popular society of drunk college girls has created their own industry of consignment shops. These shops take place in select locations, such as the cracks and crevices of frat houses and behind empty tables and pitchers of bars. However, there’s a catch. These shops only specialize in one article of clothing: a Fracket.
For the uneducated, or those fortunate enough to attend a school with temperatures above 32 degrees Fahrenheit, a Fracket is simply a “frat-jacket”. It is used for the purpose of keeping college girls in meager clothing warm in negative degree weather.
To participate in this trade, it is common courtesy to supply a Fracket in order to receive a Fracket. This means that a girl must leave her home wearing some version of an old sweatshirt from a childhood vacation or an ugly Christmas sweater from your grandparents to guarantee that you will be kept warm on your walk home four hours later.
How to Enter:
Disclaimer: must obey at least one of the following approaches to reserve a spot in the trade.
“I <3 New York”
What’s a family vacation if you didn’t beg your parents to let you buy an ugly souvenir sweatshirt at the airport? It’s time to look back in your closet and pick out the ugliest of the ugly. Take one of the sweatshirts you’ve accumulated from New York City, Cape Cod, San Francisco or whatever other touristy place your heart desires. Mix and match with your favorite crop top and you’re ready for you’re the -8 degree, 2.5 minute walk to the bar.
“Someone Who Loves Me Very Much Went to Italy and Got Me This Shirt”
Getting a gift from your grandparents is a hit or miss (usually a miss). In warm weather, nothing looks weirder than walking around campus in a sweatshirt that’s 3 sizes too small from Boca Raton, but that’s definitely not the case up here. Sporting your Christmas present from five years ago is nothing short of trendy in below freezing temperatures. So next time you unwrap your 10th “someone who loves me very much sweatshirt…” make sure you really thank your grandparents for styling your going out outfits.
“Peace Love Perri”
The idea of giving out sweatshirts at a Bar/Bat Mitzvah or Sweet 16 sounds great at the time, but in reality who wants to sport a sweatshirt with someone else’s initials all over it? However, we can’t take them for granted. The majority of these sweatshirts were ordered in bulk, not by size. Chances are you can fit four drunk college girls (body warmth, FTW) in just one of these tacky, bedazzled zip-ups.
“Digging for Gold in the Lost and Found”
Don’t be ashamed. Everyone’s guilty of it. We all know that those “clearing out ‘Lost and Found’” signs spark everyone’s interest to take a peek through worn-in, dusty sweatshirts, even though there’s only a 1% chance that something in there is ours. If you’re lucky, and sneaky, you’re able to cop something good with the intentions of fighting hypothermia for next Thursday.
Once you’ve discovered that you’re into this underground trading service, you never have to worry about being cold again. At the end of the night, it’ll be your turn for a chance at the grab bag. You never know what surprises await you hiding behind the Pacman machine at State Street Brats, or damp and wrinkled under a plethora of empty Burnett’s bottles at a frat.