Dear Best Friend,
You are going through so much right now. It hurts to not be able to drive to your house, pick you up and transport us to the places that make us feel like the rest of the world doesn’t exist. We can’t go sit underneath the water tower and talk about the feelings and thoughts we’ve been hiding from the world and ourselves. We can’t find our table at our coffee shop and whip out our journals and sit in each other’s company as we put our mind on paper. We can’t waltz into Waffle House at 2 a.m. and prepare ourselves to reenter life when we walk out.
We are too far away from our places. We are too far away from each other.
And you are carrying far too much.
It’s hard to know you are hurting and I can’t be there to hug you – holding you together when you don’t feel like doing it yourself. You are so strong and don’t need me, I know that. Regardless, I always wish to help in any way I can, and that isn’t much when over 1000 miles away. I feel so helpless and that you’re so far out of reach from me.
Are you doing okay? Honestly, are your days going alright? Small talk texts and Snapchats grumbling about a paper you have to write aside, are you happy?
You’re holding yourself together really well, and you seem to be thriving in academics, but I know there are looming struggles. I hope they’re light enough to let you breathe; it’s nice to see you’re not consumed by them. Then again, it’s hard to tell over the phone. I know the gist of what you’re going through and understand that details are hard to share over technology all the time. So for those unspoken words, just know I don’t need to know anything to still have your back.
Even if it’s just a Snapchat of half your face sometimes, it’s nice to hear from you at least once every day. It’s comforting to have any form of communication. When it isn’t much on some days I hold onto the little things: I still listen to our song and wear our matching shirt. And every time my crescent moon necklace needs adjusting on my neck or comes up and hits me in the chin, I am always reminded of you – of how we are under the same moon. We are living two different lives many miles apart, but we truly aren’t that far in the grand scheme of things.
Distance can hurt, but it won’t kill us. We are strong together and we are strong apart – you especially, you tough cookie. I don’t know where life is going to take us and how often we will be together, but I know without a doubt we will always be connected. We’ve shared ten years of life together, I couldn’t imagine any of the rest of mine without you. Besides, we’ve made plans to live in D.C. together, be in each other’s weddings, have our kids be best friends and to be their “cool aunt”.
Through the brief snippets of your life, you are showing me just how far in life you are and will continue to go. It is comforting to see the random snaps of your friend making you breakfast. It makes me smile to see your roommate’s mom gifting you a heart-shaped chocolate box for Valentine’s Day. I know you are not alone and for that I am grateful. You have support with you, and you have support over here.
I will always leave a light on for you here if you’re ever wandering in the dark. And, if we are ever in the city that started it all at the same time again: our coffee shop, Waffle House, and the water tower are still standing. And so are you. Strong, beautiful and wise. My role model.