For those of you who have not already met the handsome Beau Allison, here’s a peep into his fierce, fabulous, and fratty life. His humor and sarcasm kept me laughing throughout the interview, while impressing me with how quick he was to answer these questions in a clever manner. Beau is just the type of guy you always want to be around, so if you can find a way to introduce him to “BEAUritney” Spears, he will want to be your BFF as well.
Name: Beau Allison
Hometown: Milwaukee, WI
Major: Lazer
Year: “Sophmeaure”
Involvement on campus: Physically being on campus
1. Favorite pickup(off) line:
I came out of a va****, I’m not going back in one
2. Who is your celebrity crush?
Channing Tatum, and under the right circumstances and/or influence, pre 2007 Britney Spears
3. Top 3 things on your bucket list:
1. Making my way downtown, walking fast, when I run into Britney Spears. Startled, she reaches out to hold my hand and says:
“OH MY GOD….I thought you were a mirror.”
Clearly understanding why she would think that, I respond.
“It’s BEAUritney…Bitch.”
We laugh it off over a lifelong friendship.
2. Leaving the Midwest for someplace relevant
3. 40 years from now, looking back on my Instagrams and not hating myself
4. Where can you be found on a Friday night?
Quietly cooking a full course meal at 2 in the morning.
5. Most embarrassing moment:
12/14/94…. I was in the hospital room with mom, entire family, and group of doctors. They all saw my small peen.
6. Most embarrassing Madison moment:
Living in Smith Residence Hall
7. What do you plan on doing before the end of the semester?
Continuing to rage with the BAE’s of SAE
8. Favorite party jam:
Feelin’ Myself by Will I Am.
9. Boxers or briefs?
Depends who’s wearing them
10. Blonde or Brunette?
Dark roast, 2 shots of hazelnut, room for cream, and a splash of Basic B!$%&
11. If you were stranded on an island, what would you bring?
A Yacht
12. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Celebrating my 29th Birthday. You’ll see it the next day on the cover of US Weekly with the headline “Jesus Returns to Earth for a Short Visit”
13. Secret Talents?
– Swiping left on tinder
– Changing the date in the headers of my papers to make it seem like I did the assignment in advance
– Deep conversations with myself in the mirror
– Avoiding women on their period
14. Biggest Pet Peeve(s)?
– Overweight people with one plane ticket
– Stay at home Mom’s with Facebook’s
– Pharrel’s Hat
– PT Cruisers
– Winter
– Cargos
– Areola
– This year’s I’m shmacked video
– Sea World
– Pretending people’s ugly dogs are cute
15. How does it feel to be Campus Cutie?
*hair flip*