To the boy I put on a pedestal,
You probably don’t even realize what you put me through. From the moment I met you, I knew I wouldn’t forget you. We’ve never been more than friends, but there was always a spark between the two of us that I knew just wasn’t one sided. You treated me in ways that were different from everyone else, and because of this, I got my hopes too high.
In the grand scheme of things, I should’ve seen it coming. You’re a closed book, while I’m an open book that never stops turning pages. Maybe I scared you, maybe the feelings were never really there, and maybe you wanted the easy way out. All I know is that I didn’t see it coming.
To say you blindsided me with news of having a girlfriend would be an understatement. The fact that you also keep her a secret worries me as well. My weakness has always been caring too much and thinking of people much more highly than they deserve. Maybe this was my issue with you, thinking you were worth a lot more than you are.
Your emotions can change in an instant; I’ve experienced this first hand. To me, I saw some good changes coming in the future, but was then blind-sided by something that completely turned my world upside down. Someone else is getting exactly what I want, and I have to find a way to be okay with this.
Life isn’t easy, and college isn’t easy either. It’s all about the balance of finding yourself and becoming comfortable with you. And maybe you’re feeling the same way—not quite sure of what kind of person you want to become.
Even though you owed me absolutely nothing, I still wanted to give you more than you deserved. My emotions will continue to get the best of me, and feel terrible for hoping that you break up with your girlfriend, especially because all I want is for you to be happy.
If I’ve learned anything from you, it’s that friendship always come first, but friendships can get tough when feelings get in the way. All I want is to continue being your friend, and maybe when the time is right, we will be right for each other. Until then, I hope you get everything deserve, and everything I didn’t get the chance to give you. I don’t want to erase you from my life, but it’s time to erase the feelings.
Sincerely,
The One you Overlooked