We’ve all played a game of some sort at some part in our lives. Whether it was NASCAR Monopoly (yes, my family owns that), a game of flag football, a round of HORSE, or a high stakes Beer Pong game, we’ve all experienced a humiliating loss or a tear-jerking victory. But who does it better? Do the females take the cake on this one or will the men rise victoriously once again? LET THE GAMES BEGIN!
All-Over-the-Map Female Games:
For girls, playing games seems like a really good idea most of the time. Innocent childhood games like Monopoly and Life are a real grand time. No one gets beat up, no one’s feelings are damaged, and no one will remember who won in 3 hours.
Then you have games that require a little bit of physical activity. Dare I mention high school Powderpuff football? Sure, why not. While I only got to experience Powderpuff football games at my high school in Illinois (yes, I’m a FIB and PROUD OF IT), I’m fairly confident that oftentimes flag football + girls = intense. At my school, we were able to play freshmen through senior year and you bet your ass I played every year.
Let’s just say our class did not mess around. Freshmen year, our quarterback almost got in a fistfight with a player from the other team. Our principal tried to cancel Powderpuff forever. It didn’t work, so the competition continued. I wish I could say that was the only year fights broke out, but that’d be a total lie. In fact, senior year, we just decided to start tackling. Moral of the story, girls are the opposite of calm when it comes to competing against other girls. Until females prove that they are superior to the rest, the claws will come out.
But the fun doesn’t end with sports; girls have a very interesting way of competing in drinking-related games. Hand a girl a red Solo cup and she automatically feels invincible. You see, us females seem to forget our limits when it comes to drinking games. For example, when playing Flip Cup, girls seem to forget that they’re drinking while playing. Thus, we tend to egg on the losers to play some more, quickly forgetting the amount of alcohol we’ve just chugged (that clearly hasn’t hit us yet). Sooner than a girl can figure it out, she’s S-L-O-P-P-Y. For a college girl, drinking games just turn her into sloppopotamus and if she loses, well, it’s just an excuse to drink more.
Testosterone-Ridden Guy Games:
For guys…well they should just avoid games at all costs. While I wish I could say guys could handle playing a game of Monopoly without getting heated, I’m afraid it might not be possible. The amount of times I’ve heard my guy friends say “if you ain’t cheatin’, you ain’t tryin’” is literally out of hand. Although they constantly cheat, my hands aren’t exactly clean either. I think I might be able to speak on behalf of a multitude of girls when I say that playing board games with guys is just overwhelming. I will never understand why losing a game of poker has to result in anger, but I will understand why guys should never be invited to game nights.
As for sports, the anger just continues. 5 on 5 basketball games clearly have to result in vast amounts of sweat and maybe add some bloodshed. Fouls obviously cannot be called because then you just have a magina. For men, sports are a way of establishing their manhood. It’s like a declaration of their testosterone. While some girls might enjoy watching guys play sports because it’s pretty attractive (or maybe that’s just me…), turn off #1 ignites when a seemingly fun game of basketball turns into World War III.
When it comes to drinking games for guys, it’s a whole other ballpark. While sports are a declaration of a guy’s athleticism, drinking is a declaration of a guy’s alcohol tolerance. As a result, fun games like flip cup involve filling up their cup all the way to prove they can chug the shit out of that most-likely lukewarm beer that their female friend has been clutching for the past hour (because we all know girls don’t know how to drink beer). Drinking games just turn into a giant impress-fest and guys can’t help but participate. As a result, a huge Kudos goes out to all the men who can guzzle down an entire beer in literally seconds. I envy you, I really do.
And the winner?
So what’s worse? Is it giant girl fights and sloppy messes? Or is it bloodshed and anger? Riddle me this…when was the last time you heard that two girls were about to fight and you didn’t run toward them to watch? NEVER. BECAUSE GIRL FIGHTS ARE AWESOME. Therefore, I think it goes without saying that the girls win this battle. Who doesn’t enjoy seeing a girl’s feathers get all riled up?