A poem about accepting your sexuality
A while back I wrote a poem about unrequited love. As sad as it was to relive my experience, it felt so liberating to share out to the world. So, I figured why not continue to share? This poem does not have fancy metaphors, rhymes or word-play. I recorded it to my voice memos in the middle of the night and wrote it out the next morning, which is the norm for me just writing it in one go. With that, I hope you enjoy it!
Appeared to be
I sat in a city bar with two of my closest friends
Looking around, barely an open space
I saw two boys, or at least as they appeared to be
They sat close, talking and touching
Looking at each other without a care in the world
And I couldn't help but wonder who they were, what their stories consisted of
Were they part of the world that I knew, or were they just beginning?
For the first time, I saw what I wanted to be
What I craved and what I only saw on the movie screen
It was right in front of me
I didn't think that moment would ever come
I always thought that it was a fairytale
Only in books, music or the videos told
I never saw it where I grew up in suburbia
But to see those two boys, or as they appeared to be
Kiss and touch and caress each other so tenderly
I couldn't help but feel the swell of warmness and desire
I felt seen and heard as a Queer as I am
As I say so loudly for the world around me
It was the first time I could actually say that this is me
And this is who I want to be
Then I wondered what it would be like
To sit in a city bar with a woman
Like the two boys, or at least as they appeared to be
Would it be the same, as seen on the movie screen?
Would I, as a woman, with another woman
Be able to kiss and touch and caress her so tenderly?
Or would there be a space that must exist
So the male gaze may not enter?
But then, as I sit in a city bar with two of my closest friends
I see the two boys, or at least as they appeared to be
And I don’t care if I’d be an object
Because at least I know that kind of love is real
Something that I’ve only seen on the movie screen
Right in front of me.