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50 Signs That Your Night Should End When…

Many of us Badger collegiettes know what it’s like to push ourselves to the limit. Most of the time this quality helps us when we need to study harder for a midterm or run that extra mile…  But when it comes to a night out sometimes we need to know when to throw in the towel and just stop.

Here’s a handy list to help you recognize when it’s time to call it a night:

  1. Your text messages look something like this “WHETEr u”
  2. You look around to find not a single person you know
  3. You’ve thrown up one too many times
  4. You’ve peed on the side of the road
  5. You’re obnoxiously tweeting in gibberish
  6. You think your sending hot Snapchats
  7. Your recent texts are all ex-boyfriends
  8. You are drenched in beer, sweat, and occasionally urine
  9. You’ve fallen from elevated surfaces and feel absolutely nothing when you hit the ground
  10. You’ve found yourself walking into too many inanimate objects
  11. You are dancing alone to no music
  12. The sun is rising
  13. You are about to go to sleep in something that looks nothing like your bed
  14. Your last twelve phone calls are to any restaurant that will deliver
  15. There is pizza cheese in your hair
  16. You have now lost five “frackets”
  17. Shoes are not even in the question anymore
  18. Running in heels has never been so easy
  19. -2 degrees feels like 110 degrees
  20. Everything is spinning
  21. Your hair is dangling in a toilet bowl
  22. Shots are going down like water
  23. You’ve lost track of how many times you’ve given out your number
  24. You’ve acquired 3 new phone numbers all in the format of “Name, Frat”
  25. You think the Kelvin filter makes your Instagram look good
  26. Your eyes are closed in every picture
  27. All of your pictures are either a blurry nothing or awkward videos that were meant to be pictures
  28. You’ve misplaced every item (wallet, phone, bag) that was with you when the night began
  29. The pregame feels like it was years ago
  30. You are now crying because someone took a bite of your leftover Chinese food
  31. The chances you are alive tomorrow morning are slim to none
  32.  Jonah Hill suddenly looks like Leonardo DiCaprio
  33.  You are walking home and people are waking up for their morning jog
  34. Not a single f*** is given about anything
  35. Your clothes are just not on anymore
     
  36. A trip to the hospital is necessary
  37. Your tab is still open at the bar you left three hours ago
  38. Bruises are just whatever at this point
  39. You’ve consumed an equal amount of calories in late night eating as all the alcohol you just drank
  40. All eyes are on you in the middle of the bar
  41. A vegetarian finds themselves scarfing down a cheeseburger
  42. You feel everything in your stomach coming back up
  43. It’s your last priority to answer your roommates worried texts
  44. You find your roommate has relocated their bed to the bathroom floor
  45. You realize the shirt you are wearing is not the one you came in (or its on backwards… or just not even on at all)
  46. Your sticky boobs are no longer sticky
  47. You’ve asked every single person in the room to come to the bathroom with you
  48. You are confused about your location
  49. Your Snapchat story is now 500 seconds of pure nothing
  50. You simply just can’t.

 

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