Many of us Badger collegiettes know what it’s like to push ourselves to the limit. Most of the time this quality helps us when we need to study harder for a midterm or run that extra mile… But when it comes to a night out sometimes we need to know when to throw in the towel and just stop.
Here’s a handy list to help you recognize when it’s time to call it a night:
- Your text messages look something like this “WHETEr u”
- You look around to find not a single person you know
- You’ve thrown up one too many times
- You’ve peed on the side of the road
- You’re obnoxiously tweeting in gibberish
- You think your sending hot Snapchats
- Your recent texts are all ex-boyfriends
- You are drenched in beer, sweat, and occasionally urine
- You’ve fallen from elevated surfaces and feel absolutely nothing when you hit the ground
- You’ve found yourself walking into too many inanimate objects
- You are dancing alone to no music
- The sun is rising
- You are about to go to sleep in something that looks nothing like your bed
- Your last twelve phone calls are to any restaurant that will deliver
- There is pizza cheese in your hair
- You have now lost five “frackets”
- Shoes are not even in the question anymore
- Running in heels has never been so easy
- -2 degrees feels like 110 degrees
- Everything is spinning
- Your hair is dangling in a toilet bowl
- Shots are going down like water
- You’ve lost track of how many times you’ve given out your number
- You’ve acquired 3 new phone numbers all in the format of “Name, Frat”
- You think the Kelvin filter makes your Instagram look good
- Your eyes are closed in every picture
- All of your pictures are either a blurry nothing or awkward videos that were meant to be pictures
- You’ve misplaced every item (wallet, phone, bag) that was with you when the night began
- The pregame feels like it was years ago
- You are now crying because someone took a bite of your leftover Chinese food
- The chances you are alive tomorrow morning are slim to none
- Jonah Hill suddenly looks like Leonardo DiCaprio
- You are walking home and people are waking up for their morning jog
- Not a single f*** is given about anything
- Your clothes are just not on anymore
- A trip to the hospital is necessary
- Your tab is still open at the bar you left three hours ago
- Bruises are just whatever at this point
- You’ve consumed an equal amount of calories in late night eating as all the alcohol you just drank
- All eyes are on you in the middle of the bar
- A vegetarian finds themselves scarfing down a cheeseburger
- You feel everything in your stomach coming back up
- It’s your last priority to answer your roommates worried texts
- You find your roommate has relocated their bed to the bathroom floor
- You realize the shirt you are wearing is not the one you came in (or its on backwards… or just not even on at all)
- Your sticky boobs are no longer sticky
- You’ve asked every single person in the room to come to the bathroom with you
- You are confused about your location
- Your Snapchat story is now 500 seconds of pure nothing
- You simply just can’t.
