I’ve never seen Euphoria by the way
If you’re like any other young person in 2022, you are probably familiar with Euphoria, regardless of if you’ve watched it or not. I have never seen it, but I have a friend who posted live every time an episode came out, so I’ve basically watched the show. I can have as many hot takes as I want and none of you can stop me. I’m emotionally invested in this show in a “I want to call CPS” kind of way, so here’s what should absolutely happen in season three. The order of the hot takes means absolutely nothing, by the way.
1. Cassie’s gamer era
Cassie did nothing but cause a ruckus throughout season two, and her entire personal life has fallen apart. How do I think she should deal with this?
Twitch streaming.
You read that right. Cassie should deal with her bad decisions by getting really into Minecraft. She should become a Twitch streamer and start a YouTube channel. Her energy is being misdirected into dating walking red flags and would be better spent doing speedruns while drinking Monster and listening to music that sounds like a pulsating aneurysm.
2. Maddie joins Mock Trial
I don’t have much to say about this. I just think it’d be good to help her clear her head and I think she deserves an environment where she can yell at people without repercussions.
3. We get an Asian cast member
The most unrealistic part of Euphoria for me was that a school in California has no Asian people in it. Southern California at that. The show is filmed in a high school in L.A., a city that is about 12% Asian. At least ONE of the Euphoria High School students has to be Asian, right?
4. The school district gets investigated for low-performing students
How has No Child Left Behind not been brought up yet? Euphoria High School’s (I’m not looking up the real name) students do nothing except drugs, party and get into drama. We are yet to see any of them actually doing even a pastiche of studying. The school is probably in hot water with the state of California, and I think that the governor should personally lead a movement to implement education reform based on their observations of Euphoria High. Does Gavin Newsom exist in this universe? On a similar thought, what will they put down for their college applications? Interesting mental exercise, if you ask me.
5. The characters age up and vote in an election
They’re juniors or seniors in high school. At least one of them will be 18 during the show. Let them vote and allow us to see how these characters view the world. It is imperative for us to see who votes in which way and which political issues are most important to each character, as I need to judge them.
Someone needs to call the authorities. I am highly concerned for these kids.