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4 Tips for Defining the Relationship

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Wisconsin chapter.

The modern dating world can be scary and confusing because no one truly knows the answers. However, one thing has remained consistent throughout the years, and that is a woman’s right to stand up for herself and what she wants. We don’t need to play their games, ladies! Here are four solid tips to define the relationship:


1.     Go on Dates.

You are only young once, so enjoy it and figure out what is going to work for you in a relationship. Group dates are always fun, but the best way to know if it’s going to be a good fit is to get some one-on-one time with them. Go for a walk—take advantage of the fact that campus is uncharacteristically warm for October—it’s the perfect way to get some alone time without feeling the awkward tension of actually being alone.

2.     Don’t Play Games.

If he doesn’t text you back for days or plays “hard to get”, he isn’t worth defining any relationship with. You don’t need to waste any time waiting around for a text or for him to make the plans. Be bold; it’s okay to text first!

3.     Make the First Move.

Have you ever thought to yourself, “Why hasn’t he kissed me already?” Odds are, he’s had that feeling too. When you’re at your door after a perfect night on the Terrace, lean in. If he’s the type of guy to keep around, he’ll appreciate a girl who isn’t afraid to take control.  

4.     Know What You Want.

He isn’t going to read your mind (even though that would be wonderful and make life so much easier). You can’t expect a boy to know your expectations or hopes for a relationship if you don’t make them clear. Want to date? Tell him. Want to be “just friends?” Let him know. Want to date his roommate? Fill him in… (Okay, don’t actually do that—roommates are off limits. Sorry!) But seriously, communication is key.


“The perfect man” means something different to every woman, and “the perfect relationship” means something different to each person. Don’t feel pressured to date! If all you want is to be exclusive, don’t feel like you have to define any relationship at all. But most importantly, don’t be afraid to say what you want. If he doesn’t agree, it will hurt. Don’t worry, though— your future self will be so thankful that you didn’t waste any more time on him.  

Skylar Witte is a junior at the University of Wisconsin - Madison studying Communication Arts. In her free time she enjoys binge watching "Friends" and eating Halo Top Ice Cream. She is a self-proclaimed social media #fanatic. If you see her odds are she will have her computer in one hand and coffee in the other.
Hannah, originally from Milwaukee, WI is a Campus Correspondent for HC Wisconsin.  Hannah is a Senior and is studying Political Science and Psychology.  She aspires to work in health policy and will run for office one day.  She is never seen without a cup of coffee in hand and loves to eat any food in sight, especially sushi.  Outside of school, Hannah frequents Badger sporting events and likes to hang out with her friends on the weekends finding new things to do and new places to eat.  Hannah also runs her own Mary Kay business and is obsessed with keeping up with the latest makeup trends! This will be her seventh semester on the Her Campus team, and she loves the org more and more each semester!  It is Hannah's favorite thing that she is involved in on campus and highly recommends anyone with an interest in writing, journalism, or blogging to get involved, you won't regret it! On Wisconsin!!