Looking back on 2013, I am very proud to share what I learned with you all: Miley taught me how to twerk, Beyoncé showed me how to shock a universe, the Biebs adequately demonstrated how to say absolutely everything wrong, oh and I went to college. It may be sad, but the reality is, we’re more excited about what’s happening outside our lives than the exciting things happening within them. So why change that now! Here’s a list of exciting things that didn’t occur within our own lives.
- Is it appropriate to begin with Miley Cyrus? Probably since my laptop background was a twerking Miley turkey through Thanksgiving week…
- No fear, we have an heir to the (fake) British Throne! He looks just as excited as we are. Kate Middleton: 1, Anne Boleyn: 0.
- We also learned that you can completely screw over a country, but no worries, Russia will always take you in, and you’re girlfriend will dramatically wait for you. Congrats Edward Snowden.
- I’m 97% sure the fox says nothing.
- Bye Butter.
- Yesterday, I was asked if the government ever shut down… So here’s to that. #2K13
- It’s fine.
- I refused to leave my house during a thunderstorm because sharknadoes are real. Thanks 2013.
- Even better than “The Sound of Music Live”… Kristen Wiig.
- Jennifer Lawrence.
- Can we just take a moment to appreciate that there is now an entire website devoted to the lack of actors/actress’s teeth?
- Amy Poelher and Tina Fey host the Golden Globes and it’s like we want more, we want more.
- Breakups were catastrophic. Bruce finally told Kris to put it where the sun don’t shine and I don’t even want to discuss the end of my childhood which occurred when the Jo Bro’s announced they’re donesies. Also, brb crying because Khloe and Lamby just called it quits. I was so banking on their three week, pre-engagement relationship.
What a year it has been. I’ll miss the butter-filled world that Paula so graciously invited us all into, and the government shutdown will forever be something to remember (or not). Here’s to hoping your 2014 is filled with happiness. And wherever you find yourself on New Year’s Eve, enjoy twerking in the New Year! Cheers!
While you’re celebrating, listen to the best pop hits of 2013 in this United States of Pop remix: