Hi gals, this is sort of a letter to myself. The ugly truth is I’m going through a break up, and having to get back comfortable and content with being alone. I found some much joy and peace being alone before but going through such a traumatic change, loneliness has changed to loneliness but we can redirect our mindset. Rather you’re going through a relationship or friendship breakup, or just trying to find yourself… These are just some things I’m doing to become content with being alone.
Switch up your social media. I remember right after the break up, I would go in a spiral and look at all the relationship videos and sad videos on TikTok. The first thing I did after I let myself be upset for a little while was to click the ‘not interested’ button on those videos and start saving and liking the inspirational and happy videos so I could see more of them. Also give spending less time on your phone in general.
Start your book journey. Reading was such a decompression and takes you out of this world.This is another way to stay off of your phone too. For the beginning of the year, I decided to read a book each month. Self help and self improvement books can be super beneficial but I believe during this time, fiction books will help to redirect and distract.
Take hot girl walks weekly. I took a walk this morning and decided to listen to afro beat music and just soak up the sun hitting ever so lightly against my face. Make a playlist, name it something funky, and grab your apple watch and air pods. Just enjoying nature for what it is and just keeping an uplifted vibe. You can always walk with a friend but taking a weekly and even daily walk alone and just enjoying your own presence will be life changing.
Start buying yourself flowers. This is something I was originally doing just for the aesthetic of my room but now it’s just a gift that I give myself and think of it as a way to love yourself. Dating- you would most likely receive flowers or gifts, but instead you’re doing that for yourself- you are enjoying being content in that aspect.
Making plans for yourself is a way you can always be looking forward to something. Even planning that date we talked about earlier, or planning that hot girl walk. Planning times where you hangout with people, even plan self care. You should always have something on your calendar that you can countdown or look forward to.
As the sun starts to set later, naturally you’ll have a boosted mood but during the transition it’s great to be intentional about spending time alone and starting to crave that.
These are some podcasts that you can listen to that give some more ideas and ways to love alone time.
Affirmations for Black Girls: Being Comfortable with Being Alone. Changing your mindset about loneliness.
Gals on the Go: loneliness + feeling left out
I love you so much: Navigating Loneliness
What we said: 20 ways to spend time alone