My ideas of the holidays shifted when my parents separated in 2020. Up until then, my childhood spirit of the winter time was already diminishing due to growing older, but when the news broke that my parents were going their separate ways, it was hard to transition into the new expectations of the holidays.
I have never seen myself as the kind of person that would have to go to two different houses for Thanksgiving and Christmas. My parents were together for about 24 years before they decided to call it quits. I always felt different since my parents were still together while most of my friends had divorced parents or even step parents. Every holiday expectation was the same up until then. We had always started each holiday with a family breakfast and then traveled to another family member’s house for dinner. Some years, we would host the family dinner at our house and I would watch my grandma drink copious amounts of coffee while watching HGTV. Now since everything has changed, I don’t really look forward to the holidays anymore.
Now, I do look forward to the holidays since I get a break from school and I do get to see my family, but the stress of having to travel back and forth to make both parties happy puts a lot of stress on me and my siblings. The holidays usually go the same every year: we eat at one house, then travel to the other house where we are tried to be fed again, which follows with disappointment since we don’t want to eat. But who are we to blame? I feel like each holiday we can never make either parent happy. When it comes to my grandparents however, they are just happy to see us. When it comes to my parents, it feels like a competition to see who can be the best parent for this outcome.
(Personally, I cannot stand to be fed more than once.)
Ever since the split, I have always been told to not favor one parent over the other. But if it was really up to me, I would only want to spend the holidays with one parent. While I do have a choice, since I am an adult, the lashback I would get outweighs just putting up with it. So for the time being right now, until I fully move out of my dad’s house and start my own life, I am left with going to two different houses during the holidays.
I know the term “separate parents, twice the gifts” during Christmas has always been a joke, but when you go through your parent’s divorce in your 20s, it could not be far from the truth. Every holiday is now spent with stress, repeating yourself and just waiting to go back to college.
In conclusion, the holidays suck. I do not enjoy them unless I get time off school. I hope that one day I can enjoy my time with my family, but for the time being, I am stuck in this loop of going back and forth to houses, and watching my parents try to outdo each other.