“I will never be in a long distance relationship.”
Yes. Those words came out of my mouth. It was right when I had graduated high school, and I knew I would be headed to college in a few short months.
Long distance seemed like something I wasn’t capable of doing. To function successfully, a long-distance relationship needs a great deal of open, direct communication, which can be tough to achieve over the phone. In person, it’s difficult enough! When performing long distance for the first time, it might be difficult to set limits and the appropriate level of communication.
I knew that starting college in itself was going to be a huge challenge and bring a lot of changes into my life. I felt as if I wouldn’t be able to handle it emotionally. So, I swore it off.
A month later, I met my now boyfriend.
His college is two and a half hours away from mine.
When we met, I had no intentions of dating him. We had mutual friends, and we had never talked before. We quickly connected and he became my best friend. For months, it stayed that way. He’d come home and hang out with me. From July to November, we just became closer than I had ever imagined.
Then, he did exactly what I was worried about.
“Would you like to go out sometime.. on a date?”
My stomach filled to the brim with butterflies. I had the biggest smile on my face.
I remember every single feeling to go through my body.
Oh my god. I KNEW HE LIKED ME!
Wait, a date? I haven’t been on a date in months.
Should I say yes?
Dating could totally ruin our friendship.
This could be the start of something amazing.
Ultimately, I was excited. I said yes, and then all I had left to do was wait. I had to wait for him to come home for winter break.
We spent a lot of time together over that break. Going out for coffee, going to see Christmas lights, and going out to dinner at my favorite restaurant for our first date.
I was so nervous. Mostly because there was one huge thing on my mind.
If I let myself date this boy, I won’t be able to see him every day. He’ll be two and a half hours away from me.
I was scared.
Falling in love was one thing, but falling in love with someone I would rarely see?
I was upset. I got home from our date and was hurt. Not by anything he did, but I knew I really liked this boy… I was filled with fear of what dating him would be like.
You always said you’d never do long distance. You said you couldn’t handle it emotionally.
I thought I was protecting myself when I told him I didn’t think dating would be a good idea. I thought I was saving myself from months of pain and nights spent missing him.
It really made things worse.
After rejecting him… somehow we got closer. I texted him all day, every day. We facetimed multiple times a day, and always talked on the phone for hours before going to bed.
I told him I missed him. A lot. I would always count down the days until I could see him again.
Valentine’s Day came around and he asked if he could come home and take me out to dinner. I said no. I told him I had to work… I lied. On Valentine’s weekend, I went to Clemson to see one of my other best friends… and to see him.
From there he told me he would be coming home in two weeks and wanted to hang out with me.
This weekend was a weekend of realization. We went to a waffle house, hung out with my friends, and dreaded the night coming to an end.
The night was coming to an end, and he brought me back to my dorm room. The words that came out of his mouth before I got out stopped me in my tracks. He brought up the idea of us dating.
I told him my worries. My fears. I was scared of getting so attached to someone so far away.
“Haven’t you realized we’ve already been doing long distance for the past two months?”
He was right. Calling each other every chance we get, texting every little detail of our days, visiting each other every few weeks..
I had been hurt so badly in the past. I was scared of hurting like that again.
“It’s scary and it sucks. But I think this is a risk worth taking.”
I told him I needed some time to think. I walked back into my dorm and starting telling my roommate every little thing. She told it to me straight.
“Long distance is hard, but not giving it a try would be harder.”
I looked at her and smiled. It was like that was the one thing I needed to hear.
I waited three whole weeks before seeing him again. He came home and I went to his house. Met his family.
I became his girlfriend that night.
Our one year anniversary is on March 14th, only a few weeks away.
Viewpoints can change, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I always thought I was incapable of being in a long distance relationship. But when you’re doing it with the right person, it’s all worth it in the end.
“Distance is not for the fearful, it’s for the bold. It’s for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It’s for those who know a good thing when they see it, even if they don’t see it nearly enough.”
-Meghan Daum